Question:
04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster 
Comfort food of choice? Jackie ~*~No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head~*~ – Terry Josephson — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice? Jackie ~*~No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head~*~ – Terry Josephson
Chips and dip, soda, pizza, Mexican food.. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
pizza d
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice? Jackie ~*~No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head~*~ - Terry Josephson — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Chips, chocolate, ice cream, pizza… The list is endless…<g smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice? Jackie ~*~No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head~*~ - Terry Josephson — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice?
Based on everyone’s responses so far, I’m guessing a pizza party is in order, here. :~) kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice?
Definitely pizza would be #1 for me. Smartfood Popcorn – but NOT the low-fat version. (Wouldn’t that count as a vegetable? Corn in any form?) Pan cakes! (What a delivery system for maple syrup!) Hot Earl Grey Tea on cool rainy days (like today). Hershey’s Kisses made with "Dark Chocolate." (They offer a healthy benefit of lowering your blood pressure?) I could go on – but – I need to get to the kitchen and find some popcorn and tea! Tom — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Tom, "Pan cakes! (What a delivery system for maple syrup!)" – Cute. Now I’m hungry for pancakes…<vbg smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice? Definitely pizza would be #1 for me. Smartfood Popcorn – but NOT the low-fat version. (Wouldn’t that count as a vegetable? Corn in any form?) Pan cakes! (What a delivery system for maple syrup!) Hot Earl Grey Tea on cool rainy days (like today). Hershey’s Kisses made with "Dark Chocolate." (They offer a healthy benefit of lowering your blood pressure?) I could go on – but – I need to get to the kitchen and find some popcorn and tea! Tom — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice? Jackie
Anything chocolate — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Pizza Di
04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice? Jackie
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I gotta be honest – Elise – I went and got some Smartfood Popcorn before I could write my answer!! Talk about planting a seed and the strength of comfort foods on our habits!
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, Tom, "Pan cakes! (What a delivery system for maple syrup!)" – Cute. Now I’m hungry for pancakes…<vbg smiles, Elise Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice? Definitely pizza would be #1 for me. Smartfood Popcorn – but NOT the low-fat version. (Wouldn’t that count as a vegetable? Corn in any form?) Pan cakes! (What a delivery system for maple syrup!) Hot Earl Grey Tea on cool rainy days (like today). Hershey’s Kisses made with "Dark Chocolate." (They offer a healthy benefit of lowering your blood pressure?) I could go on – but – I need to get to the kitchen and find some popcorn and tea! Tom — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
04/26/07: Today’s question is being brought to you by our very own Anon poster Comfort food of choice?
Pizza. Best Wishes, Arthur — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I gotta be honest – Elise –
Question:
I started to read Without a Doubt by Marcia Clark (People v. Simpson), but it was too anxiety-provoking so I brought it back to the library. I’ll have to find some other relaxing book to read. It’s a shame because I think that book would’ve been interesting to read. Di
good books lately? Do tell Jackie
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell
"City" by Alessandro Baricco, a most unusual and very impressive novel (is that’s what it is, ot doesn’t really fit in any category). One of the best books I’ve read lately. Philip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Jackie, I’ll add "My Sister’s Keeper" to my reading list. smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ::Presently reading "The Memory Keeper’s Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I’m not ::real far into the book yet but so far a good book. I’m definitely buying this book! The subject matter sounds very interesting. If you like this book, I recommend "My Sister’s Keeper" by Jodi Piccoult. Enjoy your book Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Jackie, My SIL sent me down 5 books and one happens to be "The Tenth Circle." I’ll have to check out these others books. Thanks for the recommendations. smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ::good books lately? Do tell I read Anita Shreve’s "Light on Snow". Not one of her best, but still a very good read. "Family Tree" by Barbra Delinsky. Highly recommend this book. The subject matter deals with race, prejudice and family. I also recommend "The Life You Longed For" by Maribeth Fischer. It’s about a mom who’s accused of Munchausen by proxy. A page turner that you cannot put down!! I’m currently read better. Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili Kili ~ Have you tried books on tape or downloading from a place like audible.com to an MP3 player or to listen to on your computer? National Public Radio has many of its shows available for free to download to your computer or MP3 player. I always download "Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me" to listen to 2 or 3 times the week after they are on the air. There’s a wonderful show, "The Leonard Lopate Show" that provides discussion and information about many interesting topics. The shows are about 30 to 50 mins. long and the topics are very varied! "Fresh Air" is now available for free downloads also. When I had a knee replacement about 5 years ago – I was on wonderful pain medicine for about 10 days and just could not concentrate or remember any thing I read. I found books by James Patterson easy to remember because each chapter was usually 2 or 3 pages long. Of course the books had some thing like 99 chapters BUT they were all short and easy to connect together. I find myself reading a lot more magazines like Time and Newsweek these days too. Tom That’s a great idea, Tom, and one I’ve never thought of. I can download all kinds of things. Thank you for the reminder!
That doesn’t work for me either. I can start listening to the weather forecast for example, but just after it starts, my mind drifts off to something else. The forecast is over and I have no clue what they just said. I can’t blame it on the meds, I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. I can often hear the beginning of one of my favorite songs and I’ll want to sing along and hear every note, but the next thing I know, the song is over and I’m not even sure what I was thinking about when the song was on? Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili Kili ~ Have you tried books on tape or downloading from a place like audible.com to an MP3 player or to listen to on your computer? National Public Radio has many of its shows available for free to download to your computer or MP3 player. I always download "Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me" to listen to 2 or 3 times the week after they are on the air. There’s a wonderful show, "The Leonard Lopate Show" that provides discussion and information about many interesting topics. The shows are about 30 to 50 mins. long and the topics are very varied! "Fresh Air" is now available for free downloads also. When I had a knee replacement about 5 years ago – I was on wonderful pain medicine for about 10 days and just could not concentrate or remember any thing I read. I found books by James Patterson easy to remember because each chapter was usually 2 or 3 pages long. Of course the books had some thing like 99 chapters BUT they were all short and easy to connect together. I find myself reading a lot more magazines like Time and Newsweek these days too. Tom
That’s a great idea, Tom, and one I’ve never thought of. I can download all kinds of things. Thank you for the reminder! kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
yes, books on CD, listening while doing other stuff in you r home , er should i say, glass house.. nicholas sparks, and things i try to isten to but cant remember….i am glad i did/do this, now i know what obstacle i have to work on; i put a CD in and listen, then i find that i am not listening at all , after 15 2 30 minutes , so i start it all over from the beginning. any subject a 2 z. so yu gt comedy, mystery, adventure, sci fi and others. victoria — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it.
I’ve been like that for a long time and it just keeps getting worse. I tend to blame it on ADD/ADHD. I can read the same thing over and over yet nothing seems to stick. Normally I realize that I was thinking about something else while reading. Try it again and the same thing happens. Multi tasking is defininitely out! Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili
Kili ~ Have you tried books on tape or downloading from a place like audible.com to an MP3 player or to listen to on your computer? National Public Radio has many of its shows available for free to download to your computer or MP3 player. I always download "Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me" to listen to 2 or 3 times the week after they are on the air. There’s a wonderful show, "The Leonard Lopate Show" that provides discussion and information about many interesting topics. The shows are about 30 to 50 mins. long and the topics are very varied! "Fresh Air" is now available for free downloads also. When I had a knee replacement about 5 years ago – I was on wonderful pain medicine for about 10 days and just could not concentrate or remember any thing I read. I found books by James Patterson easy to remember because each chapter was usually 2 or 3 pages long. Of course the books had some thing like 99 chapters BUT they were all short and easy to connect together. I find myself reading a lot more magazines like Time and Newsweek these days too. Tom — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili Having to re-read pages multiple times like you do just kills any enjoyment that I would get out of reading. I used to do a lot of reading when the "mood struck." Now, the mood never strikes. — Ron P
It doesn’t strike me anymore, either. :-P I used to LOVE to read, too. kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili
Having to re-read pages multiple times like you do just kills any enjoyment that I would get out of reading. I used to do a lot of reading when the "mood struck." Now, the mood never strikes. — Ron P Member of the invisible generation — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~
I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
::Presently reading "The Memory Keeper’s Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I’m not ::real far into the book yet but so far a good book. I’m definitely buying this book! The subject matter sounds very interesting. If you like this book, I recommend "My Sister’s Keeper" by Jodi Piccoult. Enjoy your book Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
::good books lately? Do tell I read Anita Shreve’s "Light on Snow". Not one of her best, but still a very good read. "Family Tree" by Barbra Delinsky. Highly recommend this book. The subject matter deals with race, prejudice and family. I also recommend "The Life You Longed For" by Maribeth Fischer. It’s about a mom who’s accused of Munchausen by proxy. A page turner that you cannot put down!! I’m currently better. Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell
I am reading a biography about Bessie Smith. She was a very interesting person with a lot of self-destructive behavior that you can just tell had to end with an early death! I can see why Janice Joplin like Bessie and provided her grave with a tombstone – they both live very parallel careers in many ways. If you do not know who Bessie Smith was – you might enjoy reading the book and/or finding some of her music (from the 1920s and 1930s). The book is "Bessie" by Chris Albertson. Here are a few web sites about her. http://www.redhotjazz.com/bessie.html http://www.pbs.org/jazz/biography/artist_id_smith_bessie.htm http://physics.lunet.edu/blues/Bessie_Smith.html Here’s one mainly about Janice Joplin but also about her respect for Bessie. http://www.janisjoplin.net/influences/?id=11 Tom — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Tuesdays With Morrie" – very easy reading and a good book. Took me all of 4 hours to read it. Presently reading "The Memory Keeper’s Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I’m not real far into the book yet but so far a good book. smiles, Elise
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Question:
Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions.
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jul2006/GoodWifesGuide.jpg And the answer is … "No. .. I haven’t taken my stimulant medication yet, today."
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions. Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better? Kitten
This is one area where I know that I have improved! I didn’t realize that I had been irritable, a poor listener, and a little paranoid, until I started taking ADD meds, but now I can see that I was, and feel so much better that I’m not nearly as difficult to live with as I was. And my wife can see the difference, too. Just knowing that I have a treatable condition, and working to be a better person has made me much more aware of my own negative behavior, and better able to deal with it.
Response:
This is one area where I know that I have improved! I didn’t realize that I had been irritable, a poor listener, and a little paranoid, until I started taking ADD meds, but now I can see that I was, and feel so much better that I’m not nearly as difficult to live with as I was. And my wife can see the difference, too.
Very good news.
Response:
This is one area where I know that I have improved! I didn’t realize that I had been irritable, a poor listener, and a little paranoid, until I started taking ADD meds, but now I can see that I was, and feel so much better that I’m not nearly as difficult to live with as I was. And my wife can see the difference, too. Just knowing that I have a treatable condition, and working to be a better person has made me much more aware of my own negative behavior, and better able to deal with it.
That _is_ good news, great to hear! — Vashti
Response:
Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships.
Me too, this seems to be the basis of a person’s life. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better?
Mainly, just learning not to get dragged into those stressed out moments… we can talk about things when the stress has passed and see if we can figure out a solution to any issue etc. — Vashti
Response:
Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions. Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better? Kitten
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions. Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better?
I managed to take the DW to a ‘Marriage councillor’, *ONCE*. Twenty minutes into the session the expert asked my DW: Marriage Councillor: "Do you see any benefit to being married to your DH?" … < 70 seconds of dead silence … DW: "No." http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_aug2006/DivorceCake.jpg
Response:
Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" I hate that book. It’s about how to be a fake. At worst, it’s just techniques. You are suppose to be sincere. Anyway a person will learn a lot if they try the techniques in the book. Like how little other people actually listen. The words "personality" and "person" derive from the Latin for "mask", after all. So, one should not take cleaning up one’s act so seriously, IMO. I like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" better for social skills. It teaches empathic listening, which works a lot better than "pretending" which is a skill recommended in "how to win…" "The 7 habits…" describes a much more satisfying and authentic way of interacting with people. A lot of the book is filler. You have to skim it, but that’s true of nearly all of those self-help books. Have you read "Learned Optimism"? Better than "7 Habits" IMO.
I read _How to Win Friends…_ as a young adult, at my Grandfather’s suggestion, and can’t remember *a lot* about it, except that I immediately incorporated a couple of the suggestions about *sincere* appreciation and *sincere* compliments into my relationships with people, and still use them to this day. I do recall that the book emphasizes the comments must be genuine (not simply appear genuine), and I doubt I could get insincere flattery out of my mouth without feeling guilty and embarrassed, so it doesn’t really teach you to act like a used car salesman. The book makes some excellent points about people’s feelings and motivations and how they respond to certain treatment. I haven’t read either of the other books mentioned, so I can’t make a comparison between them, just wanted to note that Dale Carnegie’s book does have value beyond the superficial. marcia
Response:
Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten
I’ve made big strides here in the past year largely due to starting stimulants, so it’s fresh in my mind and I more or less know how I’m different now. These are the steps I took/take to improve my social skills: 1. I try to reduce or eliminate distractions. If there’s something going on in the room that’s making it very difficult for me to follow a conversation, I explain that I’m easily distracted, and sometimes others even help me fix it. If for some reason it’s impossible to counteract or eliminate whatever is distracting me, I excuse myself, because I know from experience that I’ll only get frustrated and embarrass myself if I try to stay with a conversation I can’t follow, and my resulting behavior may be bewildering to others in the room. 2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds. 3. I find a way to say exactly what I think, honestly and politely and with humor if possible. Unspoken words are remarkably unsettling and distracting for me. I’ve very nearly stopped censoring my speech at all with peers. Sounds crazy but it *usually* works for me. 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence. Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody. ~Patti
Response:
(snip) What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Kitten I’ve made big strides here in the past year largely due to starting stimulants, so it’s fresh in my mind and I more or less know how I’m different now. These are the steps I took/take to improve my social skills: 1. I try to reduce or eliminate distractions.
Nod. 2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds.
Heh. A rule of thumb I have heard is this. If you are interrupted, don’t try to repeat what you were saying. Wait a minute. If you haven’t been talking too much, someone will say "what were you saying?" If you have been talking too much, no one will say this. Obviously this isn’t infallible, but I think it works pretty well. Also, I haven’t stopped myself from interrupting (though I am better) but I have gotten much better at saying "but you were about say something when I interrupted. Go ahead." 3. I find a way to say exactly what I think, honestly and politely and with humor if possible.
Sounds good to me. 4. I’ve found my place in the world.
Lovely. :-) Sometimes really concrete rules for yourself help. I figured out many years ago that you should say hello to people when you see them for the first time that day, whether they are coming in or you are. Sounds obvious, but for years I didn’t know that and only said hello if the other person did first. Another rule: in conversations, things should be roughly even. People should talk about the same amount. The same person shouldn’t always have to end the call. The same person shouldn’t always have to *make* the call. Another thing that helps is to watch the other person’s expression while you are talking. You can often tell if you are being annoying or tactless or going on too long by their expression. Again, seems obvious, but I had to figure this out.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten
Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
Response:
While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Thanks for writing that, Nancy. I always had you pegged for the most "together," self-confident, articulate woman around. It helps to hear that you didn’t come out of the womb that way.
Always together? Oh, heavens no! LOL! When I was in elementary school, I was probably just about the most unpopular girl in my class. Don’t know why exactly, but I do know I had terrible social skills. And I had no self-confidence *at all.* The fact that I was physically awkward and quite dorky looking (both of which I can self-confidently say are no longer true ), probably didn’t help either. LOL. I was such a weird kid, mostly living in a fantasy world in my head. Which is why I have a great deal of empathy for the weird kids of the world. Once I got to high school, things got much better for me socially, but I still have some social skills issues, and I’m always tweaking them and working on making them better. My self-confidence also improved over the years, and by the beginning of my second year in college, which was quite a while ago, that had ceased to be a problem. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
I hate that book. It’s about how to be a fake. I like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" better for social skills. It teaches empathic listening, which works a lot better than "pretending" which is a skill recommended in "how to win…" "The 7 habits…" describes a much more satisfying and authentic way of interacting with people. A lot of the book is filler. You have to skim it, but that’s true of nearly all of those self-help books.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Oh, hey… I find it interesting that you’re going to nursing school. I got about half-way through before deciding it wasn’t the right field for me (imo, bipolar disorder interferes), but it’s great to hear someone else is changing careers and enjoying the work. How far into your program are you? We started with CNA training and Patient Care Skills as prereqs to being accepted into the College of Nursing, but I took training with a girl from Kentucky who was already a second year student, so obviously not all programs are the same. I’m a rising senior at UNC-Chapel Hill. I’ll graduate in May and I’ll take my licensing exam in June. It’s a four-year program but at Carolina you’re not a nursing student until junior year. We received CNA training during the first semester. We’ve had to work as CNAs this summer for 200 hours as a requirement of the program, to get clinical experience with patient care and to learn to understand CNA work because most of us will be responsible for supervising it in the future.
Great school! I tried to transfer there from NC State back in the early 80’s, but they had a 2-year moratorium on transferring in-state female undergrads because the male-to-female ratio was off, so I moved up here to Ohio State (also a good school, but nothing like Carolina). With an education from there, you could go anywhere… although why you would want to leave North Carolina is beyond me. Most of my family still lives there (yeah, that should influence *your* decision, right?). Do you have any idea what kind of nursing you want to do when you’re finished? Oncology. I particularly like bone marrow transplant because the patient-staff ratio is unusually good. ~Patti
Oncology sounds like an interesting field. It seems like it would be satisfying to have time to develop relationships with your patients, since they would usually be long-term. Typical hospital patient-staff ratio was one of the things that pushed me out of nursing; I didn’t think I could handle the stress and still give safe care, but I also didn’t want to end up pushing meds in some nursing home just to avoid the stress. I hear 4th year is the most interesting, and I hope you really enjoy it. marcia, just a tinge envious 
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Great school! I tried to transfer there from NC State back in the early 80’s, but they had a 2-year moratorium on transferring in-state female undergrads because the male-to-female ratio was off, so I moved up here to Ohio State (also a good school, but nothing like Carolina). With an education from there, you could go anywhere… although why you would want to leave North Carolina is beyond me. Most of my family still lives there (yeah, that should influence *your* decision, right?).
I can’t leave NC anyway. The state bribes you to stay. So does UNC Hospital. Between the two of them they’ll pay off all of my college loans in under four years, which is especially important at my age. Besides that, my aging parents live under 15 minutes away, and I have a lot of other family here too. Oncology sounds like an interesting field. It seems like it would be satisfying to have time to develop relationships with your patients, since they would usually be long-term.
Exactly. That’s one of the things I love about it. Another is that the arc of the patient’s emotional experience from diagnosis through treatment and even through death is something I find deeply spiritually satisfying to participate in. The experience of facing cancer strengthens people spiritually. It turns some of them into amazing people and I just enjoy spending time with them. Also I’m good at establishing intimacy with patients almost immediately, and at providing the emotional support patients want in those scary moments — the hours after diagnosis, during the painful bone marrow biopsy, etc. Before nursing school, I never imagined that *that* would be my strength, but it is. I thought it would be my challenge. I thought I would be painfully shy and awkward. But to my great surprise, since the the first time I walked into a suffering patient’s room, and almost every time since, some magical thing happens and we have known each other since the dawn of time. I just love that. Typical hospital patient-staff ratio was one of the things that pushed me out of nursing; I didn’t think I could handle the stress and still give safe care, but I also didn’t want to end up pushing meds in some nursing home just to avoid the stress.
I certainly understand that. I hate nursing homes. I’m not convinced there’s less stress there based on what I’ve seen working in a few over the summer. In bone marrow units you only have one or two patients at a time, because they get sick as snot and can turn on a dime. On the hem/onc ward where I did my first rotation, the max is 5, which is IMO too many. They get pretty sick too. I hear 4th year is the most interesting, and I hope you really enjoy it.
Thanks! I am enjoying it, obviously. marcia, just a tinge envious
It’s never too late. And while I certainly understand if it’s not what you want, I don’t see any reason why BPD should hold anybody back from following their dreams. The thing you love doing is the thing you do the very best. ~Patti
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Oh hey(have I asked this before?): you *are* being taught the right way to move heavy people, using them machine thingies if needed, right? You really have to watch your back in nursing! Yes. And in the hospital they encourage you to do it the right way. At the rehab center and in the nursing home they expect you to do most of your work shifting folks around by yourself, although I did get help to work with people who weigh 200 lb and up. I expect to be working in a hospital ultimately, and I won’t be doing much of this sort of work after I take my RN licensing exam, so I suppose my back will survive. I do worry about the CNAs who work at nursing homes long-term. Many of them at the rehab where I worked this summer are men or heavy-set women. Being little there was definitely a disadvantage. You mostly use your weight as a counterbalance to shift people around — not your muscles.
Oh, hey… I find it interesting that you’re going to nursing school. I got about half-way through before deciding it wasn’t the right field for me (imo, bipolar disorder interferes), but it’s great to hear someone else is changing careers and enjoying the work. How far into your program are you? We started with CNA training and Patient Care Skills as prereqs to being accepted into the College of Nursing, but I took training with a girl from Kentucky who was already a second year student, so obviously not all programs are the same. Do you have any idea what kind of nursing you want to do when you’re finished? marcia
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Good stuff, Nancy. Yup! The eye thing is one I had trouble with and still do on occasion. *And* I practised smiling in the mirror when I was younger… got fed up of people asking me if I was ok and "what’s wrong?" when my face was relaxed. — Vashti
Oh, Vashti! I did the same thing. I was such a miserable kid, but it was embarrassing to have complete strangers walk up to you and say, "Smile. It can’t be that bad." I won’t tell you what I felt like saying, because you can probably guess, but I was always too shy to say it. I had to train myself to smile, make eye contact, and carry on a social conversation (pre-therapy!), which I’m very proud of. You should be, too. marcia
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. I constantly have to remind myself to not interrupt (but it’s hard, because sometimes people can be so boring, and go on and on and monopolize the conversation). And I also have to remind myself to not monopolize the conversation. LOL. I think I am better at doing both than I used to be. I am extremely uncomfortable looking people in the eye when I talk to them. It’s only since I’ve been learning about disabilities which have social skills components that I even realized that 1. I didn’t look people in the eye when I talked to them, and 2. My not looking people in the eye when I talked to them was a social faux pas. Now, I really make an effort to try to at least look in the general region of the eyes of the person to whom I’m talking. (Looking directly into their eyes usually still makes me feel very uncomfortable.) One of the other big lessons I’ve learned fairly recently is that other people want you to ask questions about them, and don’t consider questions about themselves to be prying. I used to think that if people wanted me to know something about themselves, they’d just tell me in the first place. And that if they didn’t tell me something without my asking, then it wasn’t any of my business. Now, mainly through my work which often involves interviewing people about their personal lives, I’ve learned that most people are quite flattered when you show an interest in them by asking questions. Since I’ve started making a concerted effort to ask more questions of others, I find general conversations with others much easier, and much more interesting. And, I’ve learned that the less I talk, and the more I encourage others to talk about themselves, the more people want to talk to me. Well, duh. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
Thanks for writing that, Nancy. I always had you pegged for the most "together," self-confident, articulate woman around. It helps to hear that you didn’t come out of the womb that way. marcia P.S. I’ve sampled a few other groups now; ASAD is still the friendliest.
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marcia, just a tinge envious
Don’t be.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" I hate that book. It’s about how to be a fake.
At worst, it’s just techniques. You are suppose to be sincere. Anyway a person will learn a lot if they try the techniques in the book. Like how little other people actually listen. The words "personality" and "person" derive from the Latin for "mask", after all. So, one should not take cleaning up one’s act so seriously, IMO. I like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" better for social skills. It teaches empathic listening, which works a lot better than "pretending" which is a skill recommended in "how to win…" "The 7 habits…" describes a much more satisfying and authentic way of interacting with people. A lot of the book is filler. You have to skim it, but that’s true of nearly all of those self-help books.
Have you read "Learned Optimism"? Better than "7 Habits" IMO.
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Oh, hey… I find it interesting that you’re going to nursing school. I got about half-way through before deciding it wasn’t the right field for me (imo, bipolar disorder interferes), but it’s great to hear someone else is changing careers and enjoying the work. How far into your program are you? We started with CNA training and Patient Care Skills as prereqs to being accepted into the College of Nursing, but I took training with a girl from Kentucky who was already a second year student, so obviously not all programs are the same.
I’m a rising senior at UNC-Chapel Hill. I’ll graduate in May and I’ll take my licensing exam in June. It’s a four-year program but at Carolina you’re not a nursing student until junior year. We received CNA training during the first semester. We’ve had to work as CNAs this summer for 200 hours as a requirement of the program, to get clinical experience with patient care and to learn to understand CNA work because most of us will be responsible for supervising it in the future. Do you have any idea what kind of nursing you want to do when you’re finished?
Oncology. I particularly like bone marrow transplant because the patient-staff ratio is unusually good. ~Patti
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Good stuff, Nancy. Yup! The eye thing is one I had trouble with and still do on occasion. *And* I practised smiling in the mirror when I was younger… got fed up of people asking me if I was ok and "what’s wrong?" when my face was relaxed. — Vashti Oh, Vashti! I did the same thing. I was such a miserable kid, but it was embarrassing to have complete strangers walk up to you and say, "Smile. It can’t be that bad." I won’t tell you what I felt like saying, because you can probably guess, but I was always too shy to say it. I had to train myself to smile, make eye contact, and carry on a social conversation (pre-therapy!), which I’m very proud of. You should be, too. marcia
I know exactly what you mean. The fact that my mouth turns down at the corners, into a sort of natural frown, exacerbates the situation. When I waitressed especially, people would always tell me the exact same things…"Smile!" "You’d be so much prettier if you smiled." Blah, blah blah. I was also very shy, so a lot of people thought I was stuck-up, or pissed-off. I have also trained myself to *smile*, although it just makes my lips look *normal*, not frowny.
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Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution?
While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. I constantly have to remind myself to not interrupt (but it’s hard, because sometimes people can be so boring, and go on and on and monopolize the conversation). And I also have to remind myself to not monopolize the conversation. LOL. I think I am better at doing both than I used to be. I am extremely uncomfortable looking people in the eye when I talk to them. It’s only since I’ve been learning about disabilities which have social skills components that I even realized that 1. I didn’t look people in the eye when I talked to them, and 2. My not looking people in the eye when I talked to them was a social faux pas. Now, I really make an effort to try to at least look in the general region of the eyes of the person to whom I’m talking. (Looking directly into their eyes usually still makes me feel very uncomfortable.) One of the other big lessons I’ve learned fairly recently is that other people want you to ask questions about them, and don’t consider questions about themselves to be prying. I used to think that if people wanted me to know something about themselves, they’d just tell me in the first place. And that if they didn’t tell me something without my asking, then it wasn’t any of my business. Now, mainly through my work which often involves interviewing people about their personal lives, I’ve learned that most people are quite flattered when you show an interest in them by asking questions. Since I’ve started making a concerted effort to ask more questions of others, I find general conversations with others much easier, and much more interesting. And, I’ve learned that the less I talk, and the more I encourage others to talk about themselves, the more people want to talk to me. Well, duh. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
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What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution?
Show a little hubris. …. ( Thank you MothWrangler for pointing this out to me. ) Having a sense of self-confidence ISN’T bullshit. It is a type of self-evaluation which is of crucial importance. If a person overestimates their own ability then they are in deep doo doo. It seems to me that *most* people with ADD ought to be much more confident of their own ability then they appear as being ( CONTEXTUAL DECISION MAKING ASIDE … ) This doesn’t seem to be how it is. Regrettably, that ability to be self-confident is NOW beyond me. …. too many war wounds. …. too shell shocked. … too much PTSD. Stupid fucking ex-psychiatrist. YES. I blame him. It is appropriate and reasonable for me to point out that he contradicted and failed HIMSELF … that it had tangible, deleterious consequence. Does anyone believe this? ROTPMGO.
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expounded: Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution?
Developing a very thick skin and a tough front is the only way I dealt. The social rejection and isolation I felt during my young child and then teen years was acute, I decided I’d be harder than them, and it worked – eventually. Then, 50 years of living – and coming to the realization that everyone has things they have to deal with. My ‘things’ are my own, I’m responsible for them, I need to take care of them myself. Hardass? Yea, but I’ve mellowed ;- — Ann e-mail address is not checked
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While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them.
Good stuff, Nancy.
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While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Good stuff, Nancy.
Yup! The eye thing is one I had trouble with and still do on occasion. *And* I practised smiling in the mirror when I was younger… got fed up of people asking me if I was ok and "what’s wrong?" when my face was relaxed. — Vashti
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I’ve made big strides here in the past year largely due to starting stimulants, so it’s fresh in my mind and I more or less know how I’m different now. These are the steps I took/take to improve my social skills: 1. I try to reduce or eliminate distractions. If there’s something going on in the room that’s making it very difficult for me to follow a conversation, I explain that I’m easily distracted, and sometimes others even help me fix it. If for some reason it’s impossible to counteract or eliminate whatever is distracting me, I excuse myself, because I know from experience that I’ll only get frustrated and embarrass myself if try to stay with a conversation I can’t follow, and my resulting behavior may be bewildering to others in the room.
Oooh- this is a big one for me! *Finally* I’m learning when to tell people that something’s driving me to distraction, I always thought people would find it odd but mostly they really will turn off that computer/fan, adjust the blinds or swap seats with me so I can concentrate. 2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds.
Oops, I’ll try to remember this… hopefully I’m not interrupting too much! Maybe just realising that it can happen(I used to be too shy to open my mouth so this is newish for me) will be helpful. 3. I find a way to say exactly what I think, honestly and politely and with humor if possible. Unspoken words are remarkably unsettling and distracting for me. I’ve very nearly stopped censoring my speech at all with peers. Sounds crazy but it *usually* works for me.
Maybe it’s cause I’m unmedicated but I still find myself blurting out things that make no sense to those around me when I do know they probably haven’t seen the film or read the book I’m referring to. 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence.
Congarats! How’re things going right now? Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody.
Oh, I hope so!!! I’m still hopeful I’ll find my just-right spot someday. — Vashti
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2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds. Oops, I’ll try to remember this… hopefully I’m not interrupting too much! Maybe just realising that it can happen(I used to be too shy to open my mouth so this is newish for me) will be helpful.
Heh. Well, I didn’t mean *you.* It sort of goes without saying that on your worst day you have better social skills than I do on my best. 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence. Congarats! How’re things going right now?
The summer work experience as an NA has been great, and has only made me feel better about nursing in spite of the backbreaking work hoisting people and cleaning their bottoms. The online class that goes along with it is a boatload of meaningless busywork with no practical application. I’m having a hard time getting the work done; in fact I’m procrastinating at this very moment. My assignments are all due Monday, and Tuesday I have the wrap-up day on campus for the online class. The fall semester starts Wed 8/23. For the first half of the semester, I start with my psychiatry rotation on the psych floor of a local hospital. I’ve had a lot of experience comfortably dealing with agitated dementia patients over the summer, so I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about how I’ll handle dealing with psych patients. Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody. Oh, I hope so!!! I’m still hopeful I’ll find my just-right spot someday.
Or maybe you have found it. I worry that the post that generated your response might have seemed didactic or otherwise unpleasant. Over the last 18 months I’ve really blossomed, and it’s impossible to miss in person. (But maybe not in writing.) For one thing, I dropped over 40 pound. For another, I was sort of a depressed and lonely drudge typing away in my dungeon, and now I’m happy and gregarious and I have good friends and satisfying work. People who haven’t seen me in a year just about drop their teeth and can’t shut up about it. That’s probably influenced my social skills somewhat too. My social skills have changed an awful lot for the better in the past year, but maybe I suck at expressing how and why in writing. Oh well.
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2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds. Oops, I’ll try to remember this… hopefully I’m not interrupting too much! Maybe just realising that it can happen(I used to be too shy to open my mouth so this is newish for me) will be helpful. Heh. Well, I didn’t mean *you.* It sort of goes without saying that on your worst day you have better social skills than I do on my best.
Oi, you haven’t even *heard* me babble on IRL! One day, when the kids were quite young still, I decided I’d greet people I passed in the park just like the elderly always do… it’s the polite thing to do here and a good example for the kids. Somewhere between my teens and now I went from a deathly shy stutterer to a non-stop babbler… while it’s good that I can now actually talk to people without blushing or looking down, it would be nice if the other person could get a word in edge-ways, LOL! My social skills on a really bad day? The local bus drivers are lucky I can’t reach the emergency door release…<g I’m more polite about things regarding myself than those close to me but with the fibro I’ve also needed to learn to stand up for myself, it’s the finer details I need to work on: somewhere between yelling at someone for hurting me and politely asking them to stop please, you know? 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence. Congarats! How’re things going right now? The summer work experience as an NA has been great, and has only made me feel better about nursing in spite of the backbreaking work hoisting people and cleaning their bottoms.
Oh hey(have I asked this before?): you *are* being taught the right way to move heavy people, using them machine thingies if needed, right? You really have to watch your back in nursing! The online class that goes along with it is a boatload of meaningless busywork with no practical application. I’m having a hard time getting the work done; in fact I’m procrastinating at this very moment. My assignments are all due Monday, and Tuesday I have the wrap-up day on campus for the online class.
Aw, not more busywork??? I always hated that about secondary school: those meaningless exercises which only seemed intended to take up time when they could have just asked one short question instead. The fall semester starts Wed 8/23. For the first half of the semester, I start with my psychiatry rotation on the psych floor of a local hospital. I’ve had a lot of experience comfortably dealing with agitated dementia patients over the summer, so I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about how I’ll handle dealing with psych patients.
You’ll be fine: my mother had a rough time when she worked in a mental hospital in the ’70’s but that place was like something from a horror film. She was unschooled yet got the hospital in-house jobs for the patients, saved for a minivan for outings and all sorts of stuff but then the committee in charge of funding changed their minds and took the money the patients had made and sunk it into some other council fund. 
IIRC one patient was there because he was blind… he’d been put there before anyone knew, and another had been there for decades just cause she’d had a baby out of wedlock, her parents checked her in and her family disowned her<grrr! Nowadays the meds are better, hopefully the docs are better and they’ll have *you*! Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody. Oh, I hope so!!! I’m still hopeful I’ll find my just-right spot someday. Or maybe you have found it.
Nah, I need some challenges in life… er- a different kind of challenge than any of the ones I’ve already got that is, LOL! Doesn’t need to be anything fancy, no rocket science or anything. Just a little something outside of the house. I worry that the post that generated your response might have seemed didactic or otherwise unpleasant.
No worry necessary, it wasn’t unpleasant: it was uplifting! Over the last 18 months I’ve really blossomed, and it’s impossible to miss in person. (But maybe not in writing.) For one thing, I dropped over 40 pound.
Hey, congrats! The physical side is eating up calories, eh? For another, I was sort of a depressed and lonely drudge typing away in my dungeon, and now I’m happy and gregarious and I have good friends and satisfying work.
See, *that’s* what I mean about why I want a job or something! I may not be depressed but I am fairly isolated and have no outside interests, things are getting better on various fronts so getting out and about and being more active outside the home is the next logical step. People who haven’t seen me in a year just about drop their teeth and can’t shut up about it. That’s probably influenced my social skills somewhat too. My social skills have changed an awful lot for the better in the past year, but maybe I suck at expressing how and why in writing.
Naw, you don’t… but you’re really crap at mind-reading and if it makes you feel any better, so am I! If you ever offend or upset me I’ll come right out and tell you, and you do the same for me, ok? — Vashti
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Oi, you haven’t even *heard* me babble on IRL! One day, when the kids were quite young still, I decided I’d greet people I passed in the park just like the elderly always do… it’s the polite thing to do here and a good example for the kids. Somewhere between my teens and now I went from a deathly shy stutterer to a non-stop babbler… while it’s good that I can now actually talk to people without blushing or looking down, it would be nice if the other person could get a word in edge-ways, LOL! My social skills on a really bad day? The local bus drivers are lucky I can’t reach the emergency door release…<g I’m more polite about things regarding myself than those close to me but with the fibro I’ve also needed to learn to stand up for myself, it’s the finer details I need to work on: somewhere between yelling at someone for hurting me and politely asking them to stop please, you know?
Yeah. Pain definitely complicates the whole ADHD/social skills thang. Oh hey(have I asked this before?): you *are* being taught the right way to move heavy people, using them machine thingies if needed, right? You really have to watch your back in nursing!
Yes. And in the hospital they encourage you to do it the right way. At the rehab center and in the nursing home they expect you to do most of your work shifting folks around by yourself, although I did get help to work with people who weigh 200 lb and up. I expect to be working in a hospital ultimately, and I won’t be doing much of this sort of work after I take my RN licensing exam, so I suppose my back will survive. I do worry about the CNAs who work at nursing homes long-term. Many of them at the rehab where I worked this summer are men or heavy-set women. Being little there was definitely a disadvantage. You mostly use your weight as a counterbalance to shift people around — not your muscles. You’ll be fine: my mother had a rough time when she worked in a mental hospital in the ’70’s but that place was like something from a horror film. She was unschooled yet got the hospital in-house jobs for the patients, saved for a minivan for outings and all sorts of stuff but then the committee in charge of funding changed their minds and took the money the patients had made and sunk it into some other council fund. IIRC one patient was there because he was blind… he’d been put there before anyone knew, and another had been there for decades just cause she’d had a baby out of wedlock, her parents checked her in and her family disowned her<grrr!
There’s no doubt things are better now on that score, although I think we’ve probably swung too far in the other direction. Mentally ill people should not have to live on the street. I worry that the post that generated your response might have seemed didactic or otherwise unpleasant. No worry necessary, it wasn’t unpleasant: it was uplifting!
Good. That’s what I was going for. I think it’s relatively uncommon for an adult to makes drastic changes for the better in a year or so. I feel like I’ve transformed myself from a cautionary tale into an inspirational story. It has been a rough year in that it’s required a great deal of hard work, but I am happy now. Hey, congrats! The physical side is eating up calories, eh?
Well, that and I stopped eating starch and started exercising more regularly. Right now I’m running about 9 to 12 miles a week, which I know ain’t all that impressive, but I am 41 remember. I also lift weights and do yoga. It really helps with mood and focus too. For another, I was sort of a depressed and lonely drudge typing away in my dungeon, and now I’m happy and gregarious and I have good friends and satisfying work. See, *that’s* what I mean about why I want a job or something! I may not be depressed but I am fairly isolated and have no outside interests, things are getting better on various fronts so getting out and about and being more active outside the home is the next logical step.
That sounds great. I think the trick is to find work that satisfies a need you have. People who haven’t seen me in a year just about drop their teeth and can’t shut up about it. That’s probably influenced my social skills somewhat too. My social skills have changed an awful lot for the better in the past year, but maybe I suck at expressing how and why in writing. Naw, you don’t… but you’re really crap at mind-reading and if it makes you feel any better, so am I! If you ever offend or upset me I’ll come right out and tell you, and you do the same for me, ok?
Right. My mindreading skills have *not* improved. If you would please come and sit in my living room I might have been able to figure out how you felt about it. The look I was *imagining* on your face was very disapproving. ;) And the other thing I suck at is keeping my feelings about anything to myself, so in the unlikely event that you ever offend me, you can count on me to blurt out exactly how I feel about it and hit "send" before thinking it through. :) ~Patti
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Question:
Get the treatment you need. Medication alone is rarely enough. Most adults benefit from working closely with a therapist who specializes in treating adults with ADD (ADHD). There are also specialized ADD (ADHD) coaches and Professional Organizers who have experience in helping adults with ADD (ADHD). Be sure to get treatment for any co-existing conditions that you may have. Treatment won’t be successful if you only focus on treating your ADD (ADHD) if you also suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse or any of a number of other disorders that can be associated with ADD (ADHD). Getting effective treatment can be challenging. What has worked for you? What hasn’t? Kitten
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Getting effective treatment can be challenging. What has worked for you? What hasn’t?
Working with a Pdoc and therapist hasn’t work but I suspect that has more to do with the Pdoc, therapist and how ADHD is viewed and treated here than anything else. I’m med-phobic so Ritalin was scary, I couldn’t remember to take it on time and my head felt eerily quiet. I’m hoping Concerta will be properly covered at some point so I can try that… it may be a better med for me. Having a home help has er- helped. — Vashti
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Question:
Improve Workplace Functioning. Many, if not most adults with ADD (ADHD) experience significant challenges in the workplace. Some adults may need to consider a change of career, while others simply need to make adjustments within their current job. ADD in the Workplace by Kathleen Nadeau (see below) provides a blueprint for pinpointing ADD (ADHD) difficulties on the job as well as offering a wealth of strategies to function better on the job. What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? Kitten
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Improve Workplace Functioning. Many, if not most adults with ADD (ADHD) experience significant challenges in the workplace. Some adults may need to consider a change of career, while others simply need to make adjustments within their current job. ADD in the Workplace by Kathleen Nadeau (see below) provides a blueprint for pinpointing ADD (ADHD) difficulties on the job as well as offering a wealth of strategies to function better on the job. What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? Kitten
I have had "significant challenges" in my work. It is still very difficult to remain focused on a task, even after being on stimulants for six months. I know that I have to be proactive myself, and not expect the meds to do it all. I’ve been trying to stay focused, but it’s very hard. I have tried music with headphones, lists, asked for regular feedback from my manager, and several other techniques. They help some, but I’m not happy with my own performance.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – [...] What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? I have had "significant challenges" in my work. It is still very difficult to remain focused on a task, even after being on stimulants for six months. I know that I have to be proactive myself, and not expect the meds to do it all. I’ve been trying to stay focused, but it’s very hard. I have tried music with headphones, lists, asked for regular feedback from my manager, and several other techniques. They help some, but I’m not happy with my own performance.
What’s your work environment like, noisy? Chaotic? Do you think there are any changes you could make to your own work space that would make a difference? — Vashti
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – [...] What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? I have had "significant challenges" in my work. It is still very difficult to remain focused on a task, even after being on stimulants for six months. I know that I have to be proactive myself, and not expect the meds to do it all. I’ve been trying to stay focused, but it’s very hard. I have tried music with headphones, lists, asked for regular feedback from my manager, and several other techniques. They help some, but I’m not happy with my own performance. What’s your work environment like, noisy? Chaotic? Do you think there are any changes you could make to your own work space that would make a difference? — Vashti
My workplace can be a little noisy at times, with cubicles and peole talking, but it’s not really a problem. Mostly, I work at something for a while, then think of something else, do it, or follow an idea on the Internet, and get lost. I’m aware that the problem is not with my external workspace, but with my internal workspace (in my head) I’ve been on two different ADD meds, and neither has helped much in focusing on work. I may try backing off on the ADD meds, and see how it affects my work. Smokey
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My workplace can be a little noisy at times, with cubicles and peole talking, but it’s not really a problem.
I think I’d really have trouble in cubicles. Is your desk tidy- is it laid out so you can find what you need and see things you need to remember? Mostly, I work at something for a while, then think of something else, do it, or follow an idea on the Internet, and get lost. I’m aware that the problem is not with my external workspace, but with my internal workspace (in my head) I’ve been on two different ADD meds, and neither has helped much in focusing on work. I may try backing off on the ADD meds, and see how it affects my work.
I’d try a timer first… something simple set to go off every half hour maybe to give you a reminder about time. I’ve got one here at home set for one hour and it does help somewhat: the beep makes me look at the clock, I’ll check the calender depending on what time it is. Maybe you could train yourself to check a prioritised to-do list when the beep sounds? — Vashti
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Question:
Get the support you need. Support from others is essential when you’re trying to make many life changes. You can build support among family and friends by bringing them into the process. Educate them about ADD (ADHD) as you educate yourself. You can also find support through Adult ADD (ADHD) Support Groups – which exist in many communities today. Such support groups can be located through the web sites of the two major national organizations for individuals with ADD (ADHD): Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder and the Attention Deficit Disorder Association. Finding the right support can be hard. What have you done to find support in your family and in your community? What’s worked? What hasn’t? Kitten
Response:
Get the support you need. Support from others is essential when you’re trying to make many life changes. You can build support among family and friends by bringing them into the process. Educate them about ADD (ADHD) as you educate yourself. You can also find support through Adult ADD (ADHD) Support Groups – which exist in many communities today. Such support groups can be located through the web sites of the two major national organizations for individuals with ADD (ADHD): Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder and the Attention Deficit Disorder Association. Finding the right support can be hard. What have you done to find support in your family and in your community? What’s worked? What hasn’t?
Educating my family has helped, my SO’s family also support us as he’s got ADHD too. After my panic disorder started up I realised I needed more help from an outside source so I have a home help who acts as a coach… helps motivate us and keep us on track. — Vashti
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Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You wish to change reality? Some reality can be changed: http://tinyurl.com/nuu64 [...] How well do you understand cognition? Well I guess i should know something about cognition. After all I have a Master Degree in Psychology and I work every day with people. And I work with cognitive therapy. But I have no experience as a psychologist with children and ADHD. And being a professional with your own children is a problem. I used to joke with ADHD, as you probably know it was called ‘minimal brain damage’ http://tinyurl.com/npm5z I used to say that this ‘minimal brain damage’ was so minimal that it came close to superstition. But of course they don’t call it that anymore. Nowadays they call it ‘attention deficit disorder (ADD) with or without hyperactivity’. Some time ago I found this article: http://tinyurl.com/o6bh3 I guess that I already then knew that my little son had this disorder. P E R W I L D A U I am a Danish psychologist. You can find me in the in
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I understand cognition. I understand the essence of ‘biological process’. I understand subjectivity. I understand ADD and other cognitive proclivities. I understand a lot of things. The Wizard of Oz Paradox. What is it? Just follow the "yellow brick road". WOW, even Google can find the yellow brick road! :-O That may be the sequel, the Wonderful Wizkids of Oz, googling for the yellow brick road and taking their AD(H)D meds to keep focussed… http://www.turnmeondeadman.net/OZ/SpiritualJourney.html <!– frenzy —
The ‘Wizard of Oz Paradox’ … Sigh. … Waiting to stoke up the bile. A bit early in the day for some ‘Dutch Courage’, regrettably. Cordially, RL
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yeah. … It would sure seem that most everyone has abandoned me. No surprise there, really. Of those that know me … One after another has gone terminally ’stupid’ on me. It is sort of like what has happened here, too. It is the end of the line. Either I do something or I don’t do something. So where is my next stop? ~ S O L U T I O N ~ 1) I should recognize how it is that I came to find myself in this mess. Easy. It was my ability which betrayed me. I wonder if I come across as being a "sicko" when I claim this? An ability which betrays a person. Hm … ~~~ Pure, ‘Wizard of Oz’. That is always the problem, ain’t it? Breaking out of the ‘Wizard of Oz’ paradox. Easy to say. … Easy to do. … Nastier than shit to figure out what needs to be done. Luckily, I know a generic solution, here. I understand cognition. I understand the essence of ‘biological process’. I understand subjectivity. I understand ADD and other cognitive proclivities. I understand a lot of things. The Wizard of Oz Paradox. What is it? The lion who defines courage but is fearful that it has none. The scarecrow who is all cerebral but lacks a brain and thinks itself to be stupid. The tin man who is all emotion and feeling … fluid, oil and hydraulics yet lacks a heart. ~~~ The possessing of an ability YET being totally useless, ineffective and insecure in that ability. How does one resolve the Wizard of Oz paradox? … Does one click one’s heels together 3 times so as to be deported back to Kansas in an instant? Well yeah, dudes and dudettes and dudekins; believe it or not; ti’s about that SIMPLE & EASY … … *providing* one knows what to do. ( And does it … )
As children we build up a map of interconnected memories; experiences and ‘manner by which they relate to each other’. This building process is mostly completed by the time a person becomes an adult. Full stop. That is all that one needs to realize. … At least; one just needs to realize that and appreciate the implications of ’such’. The overwhelming bulk of a person’s intelligence and ability does NOT reside at the attentional focus. … It does NOT reside at that moment-by-moment experience of reality. As I have pointed out elsewhere; the moment-by-moment local appreciation of things is very limited and localized. It is appropriately and necessarily so. How come? … It means that most of our smarts; our understanding of things has been preprocessed. It is out of sight; out of mind; perhaps never even realized … .. precisely BECAUSE it can be taken as granted … precisely because it can be implicitly ASSUMED. When people grow into adulthood; for the most part they cease learning. The emphasis is moved onto the appreciations, sensibilities and skills that have already been explored and integrated. Being impulsive … Blurting it out … Winging it. … Being careless and unthinking are apt to be much more reliable; intelligent and responsible acts than rationality would otherwise suppose. Example: Some idiots came up with the notion of "Attention Deficit Disorder" … Yes, we all know that there is a cluster of characteristics which warrant "lumping together" with the common tag (label) of ADD. Yet, when one looks at the very name, itself … A T T E N T I O N D E F I C I T D I S O R D E R … The ‘implicit’ suggestion is made that a ‘lack of concern for the focus’ ( a.k.a. attention) is <somehow defective. Hello? The vast bulk of a persons inteligence and ability does NOT reside at the attentional focus. It is hidden from the attentional focus intentionally and deliberately. Adults hide the background more than children. .. Adults concentrate more on the attentional focus because they have spent their childhood constructing that distilled map. Those with ADD come across as being childlike. There is much more to cognition than just ATTENTION .. focus .. and holding it. The ADD way is to "Find focus" .. to "Discover focus" … to "Create Focus" … to "Change Focus". The attention is not a static commodity. .. It is always changing. … it is always being discarded. … it is always being acquired .. it is always being reacquired ( displaced elsewhere) Those with ADD have cognitive habits which emphasize the dynamic and hidden qualities of attentional awareness. Duh … Does or doesn’t Clinton deserve to be president for his philandering with Lewinsky? … {{{ B O I N G }}} .. Your attention has just been hijacked. Are you aware of it? Thank God for ADD.
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sorry for hijacking your Oz metaphor. I understand you were just referring to the unusable potential (impotential?) and how it makes you feel powerless. Pitty that your own theory of ADD does not prevent you from falling back into your turd. greetz
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(impotential?) and how it makes you feel powerless. …
You need to ask? Somewhat "self-defining", eh. …Viagra Falls. "Honeymoon Capital" of the world. :- Pitty that your own theory of ADD does not prevent you from falling back into your turd.
Aha. … You are referring to the curse of ADD; the inability to get one’s shit together. ( See http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/g.htm if required ) The whole thing is that … Shit happens. It comes together of it’s own accord. And the line of reasoning ( thought ) stops dead.
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I understand cognition. I understand the essence of ‘biological process’. I understand subjectivity. I understand ADD and other cognitive proclivities. I understand a lot of things. The Wizard of Oz Paradox. What is it?
Just follow the "yellow brick road". WOW, even Google can find the yellow brick road! :-O http://www.turnmeondeadman.net/OZ/SpiritualJourney.html <!– frenzy —
Response:
I understand cognition. I understand the essence of ‘biological process’. I understand subjectivity. I understand ADD and other cognitive proclivities. I understand a lot of things. The Wizard of Oz Paradox. What is it? Just follow the "yellow brick road". WOW, even Google can find the yellow brick road! :-O
That may be the sequel, the Wonderful Wizkids of Oz, googling for the yellow brick road and taking their AD(H)D meds to keep focussed… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – http://www.turnmeondeadman.net/OZ/SpiritualJourney.html <!– frenzy —
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yeah. … It would sure seem that most everyone has abandoned me. No surprise there, really. Of those that know me … One after another has gone terminally ’stupid’ on me. It is sort of like what has happened here, too. It is the end of the line. Either I do something or I don’t do something. So where is my next stop? ~ S O L U T I O N ~ 1) I should recognize how it is that I came to find myself in this mess. Easy. It was my ability which betrayed me. I wonder if I come across as being a "sicko" when I claim this? An ability which betrays a person. Hm … ~~~ Pure, ‘Wizard of Oz’. That is always the problem, ain’t it? Breaking out of the ‘Wizard of Oz’ paradox. Easy to say. … Easy to do. … Nastier than shit to figure out what needs to be done. Luckily, I know a generic solution, here. I understand cognition. I understand the essence of ‘biological process’. I understand subjectivity. I understand ADD and other cognitive proclivities. I understand a lot of things.
The Wizard of Oz Paradox. What is it? The lion who defines courage but is fearful that it has none. The scarecrow who is all cerebral but lacks a brain and thinks itself to be stupid. The tin man who is all emotion and feeling … fluid, oil and hydraulics yet lacks a heart. ~~~ The possessing of an ability YET being totally useless, ineffective and insecure in that ability. How does one resolve the Wizard of Oz paradox? … Does one click one’s heels together 3 times so as to be deported back to Kansas in an instant? Well yeah, dudes and dudettes and dudekins; believe it or not; ti’s about that SIMPLE & EASY … … *providing* one knows what to do. ( And does it … ) (To be Continued … )
Response:
Yeah. … It would sure seem that most everyone has abandoned me. No surprise there, really. Of those that know me … One after another has gone terminally ’stupid’ on me. It is sort of like what has happened here, too. It is the end of the line. Either I do something or I don’t do something. So where is my next stop? ~ S O L U T I O N ~ 1) I should recognize how it is that I came to find myself in this mess. Easy. It was my ability which betrayed me. I wonder if I come across as being a "sicko" when I claim this? An ability which betrays a person. Hm … ~~~ Pure, ‘Wizard of Oz’. That is always the problem, ain’t it? Breaking out of the ‘Wizard of Oz’ paradox. Easy to say. … Easy to do. … Nastier than shit to figure out what needs to be done. Luckily, I know a generic solution, here. I understand cognition. I understand the essence of ‘biological process’. I understand subjectivity. I understand ADD and other cognitive proclivities. I understand a lot of things. Cordially, RL (To be Continued … )
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Question:
I posted a msg here a few weeks ago, because I had been prescribed Adderall XR. See *snippet* below. I started at 10. I’m at 70 mgs now. I’m definitely feeling side-affects. Weight-loss, dry mouth etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as benefits increased concentration, focus, mood etc. I have asked a couple people if they see any difference, including my gf who knows I have ADD and they don’t notice any changes. I was diagnosed with mild BiPolar 2 by my doctor for which he prescribed ‘Trileptal’. That seemed to help my moods. I was told by my doc to track the med for 2 weeks when I was sure I had reached a dose that worked – He said I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up, I was at 50 mgs. I just started tracking it a couple days ago although I have not noticed a difference. I did email him and let him know. I think it’s gotten to a point where if I had noticed a difference it would’ve been by now. I don’t really see the point of going up to 80. 70 is alot, and I’m skinny enough Any thoughts, opinions? *OLD MESSAGE* I was diagnosed with ADD and mild autism when I was 5 or 6. I have improved alot since I was little. But I’ve always struggling with with concentration, focus, processing and retaining information. Since high school, I’ve jumped from job-to-job – some lasted a month, others lasted a few years that I barely held onto by the skin of my teeth. This is the primarily the cause of alot of my anxiety and depression right now. I’m seeing a specialist who treats ADD/ADHD. I trust him and he seems to be knowledgeable. He precribed me on ‘Adderall XR’ for my ADD. I started taking it May 7th with a dosage of 10 mgs. I’ve went up 10 mgs every day till I was sure to notice a difference. I’m at 50 mgs now. I’m definitely noticing side affects, dry mouth, decreased appetite, etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as attention, processing, focusing in general. I’m trying really hard to hold out but I’m sooo…. at my wits end with this. I feel like my life has pretty much been a stale-mate since graduating high school 8 years ago. I’m ready to get better and I realize it’s takes time. I’ve emailed my doctor about the adderall and he said that I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up. I’ll have to monitor myself for 2 weeks then go in for a check-up with my doc. IAny thoughts, opinions, at all?
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I posted a msg here a few weeks ago, because I had been prescribed Adderall XR. See *snippet* below. I started at 10. I’m at 70 mgs now. I’m definitely feeling side-affects. Weight-loss, dry mouth etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as benefits increased concentration, focus, mood etc. I have asked a couple people if they see any difference, including my gf who knows I have ADD and they don’t notice any changes. I was diagnosed with mild BiPolar 2 by my doctor for which he prescribed ‘Trileptal’. That seemed to help my moods. I was told by my doc to track the med for 2 weeks when I was sure I had reached a dose that worked – He said I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up, I was at 50 mgs. I just started tracking it a couple days ago although I have not noticed a difference. I did email him and let him know. I think it’s gotten to a point where if I had noticed a difference it would’ve been by now. I don’t really see the point of going up to 80. 70 is alot, and I’m skinny enough Any thoughts, opinions?
I know that different people respond to different meds. Perhaps it’s time to try something else? Priscilla, ADDult, Adderall XR 2 x 10 mg
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I’m in the same boat as you. I was on Ritalin when I was younger and have been on Adderall for 3 months, first med since going back to doctor and admitting to myself that smoking weed and 3 Energy Drinks a day weren’t helping. I’ve had no issues wanting to smoke grass or take caffeine anymore, but I’m taking 2 30’s a day and am curious why you are up to 70 with 10 MG pills. The 30’s just kick my ass unless I eat a bite and take it half an hour later. If I take it on an empty stomach then I’m hosed, I’m so focused all day no one even talks to me. People are noticing differences in my case. I’m much more serious, not nearly as funny, which is my reason for quitting when I was younger, I wanted to be life of party again. Now that I’m married, and it’s getting hard for this marriage to work because my symptoms in relationships are coming to a head again. It’s doesn’t seem fair that I am this way, and I’m tired of hurting people with my lashing out and mood swings. However, since I quit taking the adderal, I’m feeling the depression and misundertanding people alot. I’ve even considered getting some drugs that I haven’t used in years again, perhaps the adderal just kicked something in that is pushing the addiction buttons again, which makes me wonder how I can ever beat this cycle. I may lose my wife over this crap, which doesn’t surprise me, I have lost alot because of who I am and how I don’t understand how to stop the cycle. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I posted a msg here a few weeks ago, because I had been prescribed Adderall XR. See *snippet* below. I started at 10. I’m at 70 mgs now. I’m definitely feeling side-affects. Weight-loss, dry mouth etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as benefits increased concentration, focus, mood etc. I have asked a couple people if they see any difference, including my gf who knows I have ADD and they don’t notice any changes. I was diagnosed with mild BiPolar 2 by my doctor for which he prescribed ‘Trileptal’. That seemed to help my moods. I was told by my doc to track the med for 2 weeks when I was sure I had reached a dose that worked – He said I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up, I was at 50 mgs. I just started tracking it a couple days ago although I have not noticed a difference. I did email him and let him know. I think it’s gotten to a point where if I had noticed a difference it would’ve been by now. I don’t really see the point of going up to 80. 70 is alot, and I’m skinny enough Any thoughts, opinions? *OLD MESSAGE* I was diagnosed with ADD and mild autism when I was 5 or 6. I have improved alot since I was little. But I’ve always struggling with with concentration, focus, processing and retaining information. Since high school, I’ve jumped from job-to-job – some lasted a month, others lasted a few years that I barely held onto by the skin of my teeth. This is the primarily the cause of alot of my anxiety and depression right now. I’m seeing a specialist who treats ADD/ADHD. I trust him and he seems to be knowledgeable. He precribed me on ‘Adderall XR’ for my ADD. I started taking it May 7th with a dosage of 10 mgs. I’ve went up 10 mgs every day till I was sure to notice a difference. I’m at 50 mgs now. I’m definitely noticing side affects, dry mouth, decreased appetite, etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as attention, processing, focusing in general. I’m trying really hard to hold out but I’m sooo…. at my wits end with this. I feel like my life has pretty much been a stale-mate since graduating high school 8 years ago. I’m ready to get better and I realize it’s takes time. I’ve emailed my doctor about the adderall and he said that I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up. I’ll have to monitor myself for 2 weeks then go in for a check-up with my doc. IAny thoughts, opinions, at all?
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m in the same boat as you. I was on Ritalin when I was younger and have been on Adderall for 3 months, first med since going back to doctor and admitting to myself that smoking weed and 3 Energy Drinks a day weren’t helping. I’ve had no issues wanting to smoke grass or take caffeine anymore, but I’m taking 2 30’s a day and am curious why you are up to 70 with 10 MG pills. The 30’s just kick my ass unless I eat a bite and take it half an hour later. If I take it on an empty stomach then I’m hosed, I’m so focused all day no one even talks to me. People are noticing differences in my case. I’m much more serious, not nearly as funny, which is my reason for quitting when I was younger, I wanted to be life of party again. Now that I’m married, and it’s getting hard for this marriage to work because my symptoms in relationships are coming to a head again. It’s doesn’t seem fair that I am this way, and I’m tired of hurting people with my lashing out and mood swings. However, since I quit taking the adderal, I’m feeling the depression and misundertanding people alot. I’ve even considered getting some drugs that I haven’t used in years again, perhaps the adderal just kicked something in that is pushing the addiction buttons again, which makes me wonder how I can ever beat this cycle. I may lose my wife over this crap, which doesn’t surprise me, I have lost alot because of who I am and how I don’t understand how to stop the cycle.
Have you considered talking to a professional? Or trying a 12 step program? Priscilla
Response:
Of course! 2 DUI’s will get you the gammat of therapy. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m in the same boat as you. I was on Ritalin when I was younger and have been on Adderall for 3 months, first med since going back to doctor and admitting to myself that smoking weed and 3 Energy Drinks a day weren’t helping. I’ve had no issues wanting to smoke grass or take caffeine anymore, but I’m taking 2 30’s a day and am curious why you are up to 70 with 10 MG pills. The 30’s just kick my ass unless I eat a bite and take it half an hour later. If I take it on an empty stomach then I’m hosed, I’m so focused all day no one even talks to me. People are noticing differences in my case. I’m much more serious, not nearly as funny, which is my reason for quitting when I was younger, I wanted to be life of party again. Now that I’m married, and it’s getting hard for this marriage to work because my symptoms in relationships are coming to a head again. It’s doesn’t seem fair that I am this way, and I’m tired of hurting people with my lashing out and mood swings. However, since I quit taking the adderal, I’m feeling the depression and misundertanding people alot. I’ve even considered getting some drugs that I haven’t used in years again, perhaps the adderal just kicked something in that is pushing the addiction buttons again, which makes me wonder how I can ever beat this cycle. I may lose my wife over this crap, which doesn’t surprise me, I have lost alot because of who I am and how I don’t understand how to stop the cycle. Have you considered talking to a professional? Or trying a 12 step program? Priscilla
Response:
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