Filed under: ADD and ADHD
Question:
I started to read Without a Doubt by Marcia Clark (People v. Simpson), but it was too anxiety-provoking so I brought it back to the library. I’ll have to find some other relaxing book to read. It’s a shame because I think that book would’ve been interesting to read. Di
good books lately? Do tell 
Jackie
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell
"City" by Alessandro Baricco, a most unusual and very impressive novel (is that’s what it is, ot doesn’t really fit in any category). One of the best books I’ve read lately. Philip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Jackie, I’ll add "My Sister’s Keeper" to my reading list. smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ::Presently reading "The Memory Keeper’s Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I’m not ::real far into the book yet but so far a good book. I’m definitely buying this book! The subject matter sounds very interesting. If you like this book, I recommend "My Sister’s Keeper" by Jodi Piccoult. Enjoy your book Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Jackie, My SIL sent me down 5 books and one happens to be "The Tenth Circle." I’ll have to check out these others books. Thanks for the recommendations. smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ::good books lately? Do tell I read Anita Shreve’s "Light on Snow". Not one of her best, but still a very good read. "Family Tree" by Barbra Delinsky. Highly recommend this book. The subject matter deals with race, prejudice and family. I also recommend "The Life You Longed For" by Maribeth Fischer. It’s about a mom who’s accused of Munchausen by proxy. A page turner that you cannot put down!! I’m currently read better. Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili Kili ~ Have you tried books on tape or downloading from a place like audible.com to an MP3 player or to listen to on your computer? National Public Radio has many of its shows available for free to download to your computer or MP3 player. I always download "Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me" to listen to 2 or 3 times the week after they are on the air. There’s a wonderful show, "The Leonard Lopate Show" that provides discussion and information about many interesting topics. The shows are about 30 to 50 mins. long and the topics are very varied! "Fresh Air" is now available for free downloads also. When I had a knee replacement about 5 years ago – I was on wonderful pain medicine for about 10 days and just could not concentrate or remember any thing I read. I found books by James Patterson easy to remember because each chapter was usually 2 or 3 pages long. Of course the books had some thing like 99 chapters BUT they were all short and easy to connect together. I find myself reading a lot more magazines like Time and Newsweek these days too. Tom That’s a great idea, Tom, and one I’ve never thought of. I can download all kinds of things. Thank you for the reminder!
That doesn’t work for me either. I can start listening to the weather forecast for example, but just after it starts, my mind drifts off to something else. The forecast is over and I have no clue what they just said. I can’t blame it on the meds, I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. I can often hear the beginning of one of my favorite songs and I’ll want to sing along and hear every note, but the next thing I know, the song is over and I’m not even sure what I was thinking about when the song was on? Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili Kili ~ Have you tried books on tape or downloading from a place like audible.com to an MP3 player or to listen to on your computer? National Public Radio has many of its shows available for free to download to your computer or MP3 player. I always download "Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me" to listen to 2 or 3 times the week after they are on the air. There’s a wonderful show, "The Leonard Lopate Show" that provides discussion and information about many interesting topics. The shows are about 30 to 50 mins. long and the topics are very varied! "Fresh Air" is now available for free downloads also. When I had a knee replacement about 5 years ago – I was on wonderful pain medicine for about 10 days and just could not concentrate or remember any thing I read. I found books by James Patterson easy to remember because each chapter was usually 2 or 3 pages long. Of course the books had some thing like 99 chapters BUT they were all short and easy to connect together. I find myself reading a lot more magazines like Time and Newsweek these days too. Tom
That’s a great idea, Tom, and one I’ve never thought of. I can download all kinds of things. Thank you for the reminder! kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
yes, books on CD, listening while doing other stuff in you r home , er should i say, glass house.. nicholas sparks, and things i try to isten to but cant remember….i am glad i did/do this, now i know what obstacle i have to work on; i put a CD in and listen, then i find that i am not listening at all , after 15 2 30 minutes , so i start it all over from the beginning. any subject a 2 z. so yu gt comedy, mystery, adventure, sci fi and others. victoria — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it.
I’ve been like that for a long time and it just keeps getting worse. I tend to blame it on ADD/ADHD. I can read the same thing over and over yet nothing seems to stick. Normally I realize that I was thinking about something else while reading. Try it again and the same thing happens. Multi tasking is defininitely out! Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili
Kili ~ Have you tried books on tape or downloading from a place like audible.com to an MP3 player or to listen to on your computer? National Public Radio has many of its shows available for free to download to your computer or MP3 player. I always download "Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me" to listen to 2 or 3 times the week after they are on the air. There’s a wonderful show, "The Leonard Lopate Show" that provides discussion and information about many interesting topics. The shows are about 30 to 50 mins. long and the topics are very varied! "Fresh Air" is now available for free downloads also. When I had a knee replacement about 5 years ago – I was on wonderful pain medicine for about 10 days and just could not concentrate or remember any thing I read. I found books by James Patterson easy to remember because each chapter was usually 2 or 3 pages long. Of course the books had some thing like 99 chapters BUT they were all short and easy to connect together. I find myself reading a lot more magazines like Time and Newsweek these days too. Tom — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili Having to re-read pages multiple times like you do just kills any enjoyment that I would get out of reading. I used to do a lot of reading when the "mood struck." Now, the mood never strikes. — Ron P
It doesn’t strike me anymore, either. :-P I used to LOVE to read, too. kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili
Having to re-read pages multiple times like you do just kills any enjoyment that I would get out of reading. I used to do a lot of reading when the "mood struck." Now, the mood never strikes. — Ron P Member of the invisible generation — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~
I have started about 7 books in the past year, but I’ve lost my attention span to get through them. I find myself re-reading a page about 5 times for comprehension. It’s almost more of a chore than fun. Thank you anxiety! Gotta love it. kili — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
::Presently reading "The Memory Keeper’s Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I’m not ::real far into the book yet but so far a good book. I’m definitely buying this book! The subject matter sounds very interesting. If you like this book, I recommend "My Sister’s Keeper" by Jodi Piccoult. Enjoy your book Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
::good books lately? Do tell I read Anita Shreve’s "Light on Snow". Not one of her best, but still a very good read. "Family Tree" by Barbra Delinsky. Highly recommend this book. The subject matter deals with race, prejudice and family. I also recommend "The Life You Longed For" by Maribeth Fischer. It’s about a mom who’s accused of Munchausen by proxy. A page turner that you cannot put down!! I’m currently better. Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell
I am reading a biography about Bessie Smith. She was a very interesting person with a lot of self-destructive behavior that you can just tell had to end with an early death! I can see why Janice Joplin like Bessie and provided her grave with a tombstone – they both live very parallel careers in many ways. If you do not know who Bessie Smith was – you might enjoy reading the book and/or finding some of her music (from the 1920s and 1930s). The book is "Bessie" by Chris Albertson. Here are a few web sites about her. http://www.redhotjazz.com/bessie.html http://www.pbs.org/jazz/biography/artist_id_smith_bessie.htm http://physics.lunet.edu/blues/Bessie_Smith.html Here’s one mainly about Janice Joplin but also about her respect for Bessie. http://www.janisjoplin.net/influences/?id=11 Tom — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Tuesdays With Morrie" – very easy reading and a good book. Took me all of 4 hours to read it. Presently reading "The Memory Keeper’s Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I’m not real far into the book yet but so far a good book. smiles, Elise
good books lately? Do tell Jackie ~*~I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately. The other day my mood ring exploded~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Question:
Improve Workplace Functioning. Many, if not most adults with ADD (ADHD) experience significant challenges in the workplace. Some adults may need to consider a change of career, while others simply need to make adjustments within their current job. ADD in the Workplace by Kathleen Nadeau (see below) provides a blueprint for pinpointing ADD (ADHD) difficulties on the job as well as offering a wealth of strategies to function better on the job. What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? Kitten
Response:
Improve Workplace Functioning. Many, if not most adults with ADD (ADHD) experience significant challenges in the workplace. Some adults may need to consider a change of career, while others simply need to make adjustments within their current job. ADD in the Workplace by Kathleen Nadeau (see below) provides a blueprint for pinpointing ADD (ADHD) difficulties on the job as well as offering a wealth of strategies to function better on the job. What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? Kitten
I have had "significant challenges" in my work. It is still very difficult to remain focused on a task, even after being on stimulants for six months. I know that I have to be proactive myself, and not expect the meds to do it all. I’ve been trying to stay focused, but it’s very hard. I have tried music with headphones, lists, asked for regular feedback from my manager, and several other techniques. They help some, but I’m not happy with my own performance.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – [...] What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? I have had "significant challenges" in my work. It is still very difficult to remain focused on a task, even after being on stimulants for six months. I know that I have to be proactive myself, and not expect the meds to do it all. I’ve been trying to stay focused, but it’s very hard. I have tried music with headphones, lists, asked for regular feedback from my manager, and several other techniques. They help some, but I’m not happy with my own performance.
What’s your work environment like, noisy? Chaotic? Do you think there are any changes you could make to your own work space that would make a difference? — Vashti
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – [...] What things have you had to change in the workplace in order to function effectively? I have had "significant challenges" in my work. It is still very difficult to remain focused on a task, even after being on stimulants for six months. I know that I have to be proactive myself, and not expect the meds to do it all. I’ve been trying to stay focused, but it’s very hard. I have tried music with headphones, lists, asked for regular feedback from my manager, and several other techniques. They help some, but I’m not happy with my own performance. What’s your work environment like, noisy? Chaotic? Do you think there are any changes you could make to your own work space that would make a difference? — Vashti
My workplace can be a little noisy at times, with cubicles and peole talking, but it’s not really a problem. Mostly, I work at something for a while, then think of something else, do it, or follow an idea on the Internet, and get lost. I’m aware that the problem is not with my external workspace, but with my internal workspace (in my head) I’ve been on two different ADD meds, and neither has helped much in focusing on work. I may try backing off on the ADD meds, and see how it affects my work. Smokey
Response:
My workplace can be a little noisy at times, with cubicles and peole talking, but it’s not really a problem.
I think I’d really have trouble in cubicles. Is your desk tidy- is it laid out so you can find what you need and see things you need to remember? Mostly, I work at something for a while, then think of something else, do it, or follow an idea on the Internet, and get lost. I’m aware that the problem is not with my external workspace, but with my internal workspace (in my head) I’ve been on two different ADD meds, and neither has helped much in focusing on work. I may try backing off on the ADD meds, and see how it affects my work.
I’d try a timer first… something simple set to go off every half hour maybe to give you a reminder about time. I’ve got one here at home set for one hour and it does help somewhat: the beep makes me look at the clock, I’ll check the calender depending on what time it is. Maybe you could train yourself to check a prioritised to-do list when the beep sounds? — Vashti
Response:
Question:
Get the treatment you need. Medication alone is rarely enough. Most adults benefit from working closely with a therapist who specializes in treating adults with ADD (ADHD). There are also specialized ADD (ADHD) coaches and Professional Organizers who have experience in helping adults with ADD (ADHD). Be sure to get treatment for any co-existing conditions that you may have. Treatment won’t be successful if you only focus on treating your ADD (ADHD) if you also suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse or any of a number of other disorders that can be associated with ADD (ADHD). Getting effective treatment can be challenging. What has worked for you? What hasn’t? Kitten
Response:
Getting effective treatment can be challenging. What has worked for you? What hasn’t?
Working with a Pdoc and therapist hasn’t work but I suspect that has more to do with the Pdoc, therapist and how ADHD is viewed and treated here than anything else. I’m med-phobic so Ritalin was scary, I couldn’t remember to take it on time and my head felt eerily quiet. I’m hoping Concerta will be properly covered at some point so I can try that… it may be a better med for me. Having a home help has er- helped. — Vashti
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Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" I hate that book. It’s about how to be a fake. At worst, it’s just techniques. You are suppose to be sincere. Anyway a person will learn a lot if they try the techniques in the book. Like how little other people actually listen. The words "personality" and "person" derive from the Latin for "mask", after all. So, one should not take cleaning up one’s act so seriously, IMO. I like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" better for social skills. It teaches empathic listening, which works a lot better than "pretending" which is a skill recommended in "how to win…" "The 7 habits…" describes a much more satisfying and authentic way of interacting with people. A lot of the book is filler. You have to skim it, but that’s true of nearly all of those self-help books. Have you read "Learned Optimism"? Better than "7 Habits" IMO.
I read _How to Win Friends…_ as a young adult, at my Grandfather’s suggestion, and can’t remember *a lot* about it, except that I immediately incorporated a couple of the suggestions about *sincere* appreciation and *sincere* compliments into my relationships with people, and still use them to this day. I do recall that the book emphasizes the comments must be genuine (not simply appear genuine), and I doubt I could get insincere flattery out of my mouth without feeling guilty and embarrassed, so it doesn’t really teach you to act like a used car salesman. The book makes some excellent points about people’s feelings and motivations and how they respond to certain treatment. I haven’t read either of the other books mentioned, so I can’t make a comparison between them, just wanted to note that Dale Carnegie’s book does have value beyond the superficial. marcia
Response:
Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten
I’ve made big strides here in the past year largely due to starting stimulants, so it’s fresh in my mind and I more or less know how I’m different now. These are the steps I took/take to improve my social skills: 1. I try to reduce or eliminate distractions. If there’s something going on in the room that’s making it very difficult for me to follow a conversation, I explain that I’m easily distracted, and sometimes others even help me fix it. If for some reason it’s impossible to counteract or eliminate whatever is distracting me, I excuse myself, because I know from experience that I’ll only get frustrated and embarrass myself if I try to stay with a conversation I can’t follow, and my resulting behavior may be bewildering to others in the room. 2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds. 3. I find a way to say exactly what I think, honestly and politely and with humor if possible. Unspoken words are remarkably unsettling and distracting for me. I’ve very nearly stopped censoring my speech at all with peers. Sounds crazy but it *usually* works for me. 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence. Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody. ~Patti
Response:
(snip) What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Kitten I’ve made big strides here in the past year largely due to starting stimulants, so it’s fresh in my mind and I more or less know how I’m different now. These are the steps I took/take to improve my social skills: 1. I try to reduce or eliminate distractions.
Nod. 2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds.
Heh. A rule of thumb I have heard is this. If you are interrupted, don’t try to repeat what you were saying. Wait a minute. If you haven’t been talking too much, someone will say "what were you saying?" If you have been talking too much, no one will say this. Obviously this isn’t infallible, but I think it works pretty well. Also, I haven’t stopped myself from interrupting (though I am better) but I have gotten much better at saying "but you were about say something when I interrupted. Go ahead." 3. I find a way to say exactly what I think, honestly and politely and with humor if possible.
Sounds good to me. 4. I’ve found my place in the world.
Lovely. :-) Sometimes really concrete rules for yourself help. I figured out many years ago that you should say hello to people when you see them for the first time that day, whether they are coming in or you are. Sounds obvious, but for years I didn’t know that and only said hello if the other person did first. Another rule: in conversations, things should be roughly even. People should talk about the same amount. The same person shouldn’t always have to end the call. The same person shouldn’t always have to *make* the call. Another thing that helps is to watch the other person’s expression while you are talking. You can often tell if you are being annoying or tactless or going on too long by their expression. Again, seems obvious, but I had to figure this out.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten
Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
Response:
While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Thanks for writing that, Nancy. I always had you pegged for the most "together," self-confident, articulate woman around. It helps to hear that you didn’t come out of the womb that way.
Always together? Oh, heavens no! LOL! When I was in elementary school, I was probably just about the most unpopular girl in my class. Don’t know why exactly, but I do know I had terrible social skills. And I had no self-confidence *at all.* The fact that I was physically awkward and quite dorky looking (both of which I can self-confidently say are no longer true ), probably didn’t help either. LOL. I was such a weird kid, mostly living in a fantasy world in my head. Which is why I have a great deal of empathy for the weird kids of the world. Once I got to high school, things got much better for me socially, but I still have some social skills issues, and I’m always tweaking them and working on making them better. My self-confidence also improved over the years, and by the beginning of my second year in college, which was quite a while ago, that had ceased to be a problem. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
I hate that book. It’s about how to be a fake. I like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" better for social skills. It teaches empathic listening, which works a lot better than "pretending" which is a skill recommended in "how to win…" "The 7 habits…" describes a much more satisfying and authentic way of interacting with people. A lot of the book is filler. You have to skim it, but that’s true of nearly all of those self-help books.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Oh, hey… I find it interesting that you’re going to nursing school. I got about half-way through before deciding it wasn’t the right field for me (imo, bipolar disorder interferes), but it’s great to hear someone else is changing careers and enjoying the work. How far into your program are you? We started with CNA training and Patient Care Skills as prereqs to being accepted into the College of Nursing, but I took training with a girl from Kentucky who was already a second year student, so obviously not all programs are the same. I’m a rising senior at UNC-Chapel Hill. I’ll graduate in May and I’ll take my licensing exam in June. It’s a four-year program but at Carolina you’re not a nursing student until junior year. We received CNA training during the first semester. We’ve had to work as CNAs this summer for 200 hours as a requirement of the program, to get clinical experience with patient care and to learn to understand CNA work because most of us will be responsible for supervising it in the future.
Great school! I tried to transfer there from NC State back in the early 80’s, but they had a 2-year moratorium on transferring in-state female undergrads because the male-to-female ratio was off, so I moved up here to Ohio State (also a good school, but nothing like Carolina). With an education from there, you could go anywhere… although why you would want to leave North Carolina is beyond me. Most of my family still lives there (yeah, that should influence *your* decision, right?). Do you have any idea what kind of nursing you want to do when you’re finished? Oncology. I particularly like bone marrow transplant because the patient-staff ratio is unusually good. ~Patti
Oncology sounds like an interesting field. It seems like it would be satisfying to have time to develop relationships with your patients, since they would usually be long-term. Typical hospital patient-staff ratio was one of the things that pushed me out of nursing; I didn’t think I could handle the stress and still give safe care, but I also didn’t want to end up pushing meds in some nursing home just to avoid the stress. I hear 4th year is the most interesting, and I hope you really enjoy it. marcia, just a tinge envious 
Response:
Great school! I tried to transfer there from NC State back in the early 80’s, but they had a 2-year moratorium on transferring in-state female undergrads because the male-to-female ratio was off, so I moved up here to Ohio State (also a good school, but nothing like Carolina). With an education from there, you could go anywhere… although why you would want to leave North Carolina is beyond me. Most of my family still lives there (yeah, that should influence *your* decision, right?).
I can’t leave NC anyway. The state bribes you to stay. So does UNC Hospital. Between the two of them they’ll pay off all of my college loans in under four years, which is especially important at my age. Besides that, my aging parents live under 15 minutes away, and I have a lot of other family here too. Oncology sounds like an interesting field. It seems like it would be satisfying to have time to develop relationships with your patients, since they would usually be long-term.
Exactly. That’s one of the things I love about it. Another is that the arc of the patient’s emotional experience from diagnosis through treatment and even through death is something I find deeply spiritually satisfying to participate in. The experience of facing cancer strengthens people spiritually. It turns some of them into amazing people and I just enjoy spending time with them. Also I’m good at establishing intimacy with patients almost immediately, and at providing the emotional support patients want in those scary moments — the hours after diagnosis, during the painful bone marrow biopsy, etc. Before nursing school, I never imagined that *that* would be my strength, but it is. I thought it would be my challenge. I thought I would be painfully shy and awkward. But to my great surprise, since the the first time I walked into a suffering patient’s room, and almost every time since, some magical thing happens and we have known each other since the dawn of time. I just love that. Typical hospital patient-staff ratio was one of the things that pushed me out of nursing; I didn’t think I could handle the stress and still give safe care, but I also didn’t want to end up pushing meds in some nursing home just to avoid the stress.
I certainly understand that. I hate nursing homes. I’m not convinced there’s less stress there based on what I’ve seen working in a few over the summer. In bone marrow units you only have one or two patients at a time, because they get sick as snot and can turn on a dime. On the hem/onc ward where I did my first rotation, the max is 5, which is IMO too many. They get pretty sick too. I hear 4th year is the most interesting, and I hope you really enjoy it.
Thanks! I am enjoying it, obviously. marcia, just a tinge envious
It’s never too late. And while I certainly understand if it’s not what you want, I don’t see any reason why BPD should hold anybody back from following their dreams. The thing you love doing is the thing you do the very best. ~Patti
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Oh hey(have I asked this before?): you *are* being taught the right way to move heavy people, using them machine thingies if needed, right? You really have to watch your back in nursing! Yes. And in the hospital they encourage you to do it the right way. At the rehab center and in the nursing home they expect you to do most of your work shifting folks around by yourself, although I did get help to work with people who weigh 200 lb and up. I expect to be working in a hospital ultimately, and I won’t be doing much of this sort of work after I take my RN licensing exam, so I suppose my back will survive. I do worry about the CNAs who work at nursing homes long-term. Many of them at the rehab where I worked this summer are men or heavy-set women. Being little there was definitely a disadvantage. You mostly use your weight as a counterbalance to shift people around — not your muscles.
Oh, hey… I find it interesting that you’re going to nursing school. I got about half-way through before deciding it wasn’t the right field for me (imo, bipolar disorder interferes), but it’s great to hear someone else is changing careers and enjoying the work. How far into your program are you? We started with CNA training and Patient Care Skills as prereqs to being accepted into the College of Nursing, but I took training with a girl from Kentucky who was already a second year student, so obviously not all programs are the same. Do you have any idea what kind of nursing you want to do when you’re finished? marcia
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Good stuff, Nancy. Yup! The eye thing is one I had trouble with and still do on occasion. *And* I practised smiling in the mirror when I was younger… got fed up of people asking me if I was ok and "what’s wrong?" when my face was relaxed. — Vashti
Oh, Vashti! I did the same thing. I was such a miserable kid, but it was embarrassing to have complete strangers walk up to you and say, "Smile. It can’t be that bad." I won’t tell you what I felt like saying, because you can probably guess, but I was always too shy to say it. I had to train myself to smile, make eye contact, and carry on a social conversation (pre-therapy!), which I’m very proud of. You should be, too. marcia
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. I constantly have to remind myself to not interrupt (but it’s hard, because sometimes people can be so boring, and go on and on and monopolize the conversation). And I also have to remind myself to not monopolize the conversation. LOL. I think I am better at doing both than I used to be. I am extremely uncomfortable looking people in the eye when I talk to them. It’s only since I’ve been learning about disabilities which have social skills components that I even realized that 1. I didn’t look people in the eye when I talked to them, and 2. My not looking people in the eye when I talked to them was a social faux pas. Now, I really make an effort to try to at least look in the general region of the eyes of the person to whom I’m talking. (Looking directly into their eyes usually still makes me feel very uncomfortable.) One of the other big lessons I’ve learned fairly recently is that other people want you to ask questions about them, and don’t consider questions about themselves to be prying. I used to think that if people wanted me to know something about themselves, they’d just tell me in the first place. And that if they didn’t tell me something without my asking, then it wasn’t any of my business. Now, mainly through my work which often involves interviewing people about their personal lives, I’ve learned that most people are quite flattered when you show an interest in them by asking questions. Since I’ve started making a concerted effort to ask more questions of others, I find general conversations with others much easier, and much more interesting. And, I’ve learned that the less I talk, and the more I encourage others to talk about themselves, the more people want to talk to me. Well, duh. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
Thanks for writing that, Nancy. I always had you pegged for the most "together," self-confident, articulate woman around. It helps to hear that you didn’t come out of the womb that way. marcia P.S. I’ve sampled a few other groups now; ASAD is still the friendliest.
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marcia, just a tinge envious
Don’t be.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution? Kitten Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" I hate that book. It’s about how to be a fake.
At worst, it’s just techniques. You are suppose to be sincere. Anyway a person will learn a lot if they try the techniques in the book. Like how little other people actually listen. The words "personality" and "person" derive from the Latin for "mask", after all. So, one should not take cleaning up one’s act so seriously, IMO. I like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" better for social skills. It teaches empathic listening, which works a lot better than "pretending" which is a skill recommended in "how to win…" "The 7 habits…" describes a much more satisfying and authentic way of interacting with people. A lot of the book is filler. You have to skim it, but that’s true of nearly all of those self-help books.
Have you read "Learned Optimism"? Better than "7 Habits" IMO.
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Oh, hey… I find it interesting that you’re going to nursing school. I got about half-way through before deciding it wasn’t the right field for me (imo, bipolar disorder interferes), but it’s great to hear someone else is changing careers and enjoying the work. How far into your program are you? We started with CNA training and Patient Care Skills as prereqs to being accepted into the College of Nursing, but I took training with a girl from Kentucky who was already a second year student, so obviously not all programs are the same.
I’m a rising senior at UNC-Chapel Hill. I’ll graduate in May and I’ll take my licensing exam in June. It’s a four-year program but at Carolina you’re not a nursing student until junior year. We received CNA training during the first semester. We’ve had to work as CNAs this summer for 200 hours as a requirement of the program, to get clinical experience with patient care and to learn to understand CNA work because most of us will be responsible for supervising it in the future. Do you have any idea what kind of nursing you want to do when you’re finished?
Oncology. I particularly like bone marrow transplant because the patient-staff ratio is unusually good. ~Patti
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Good stuff, Nancy. Yup! The eye thing is one I had trouble with and still do on occasion. *And* I practised smiling in the mirror when I was younger… got fed up of people asking me if I was ok and "what’s wrong?" when my face was relaxed. — Vashti Oh, Vashti! I did the same thing. I was such a miserable kid, but it was embarrassing to have complete strangers walk up to you and say, "Smile. It can’t be that bad." I won’t tell you what I felt like saying, because you can probably guess, but I was always too shy to say it. I had to train myself to smile, make eye contact, and carry on a social conversation (pre-therapy!), which I’m very proud of. You should be, too. marcia
I know exactly what you mean. The fact that my mouth turns down at the corners, into a sort of natural frown, exacerbates the situation. When I waitressed especially, people would always tell me the exact same things…"Smile!" "You’d be so much prettier if you smiled." Blah, blah blah. I was also very shy, so a lot of people thought I was stuck-up, or pissed-off. I have also trained myself to *smile*, although it just makes my lips look *normal*, not frowny.
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Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution?
While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. I constantly have to remind myself to not interrupt (but it’s hard, because sometimes people can be so boring, and go on and on and monopolize the conversation). And I also have to remind myself to not monopolize the conversation. LOL. I think I am better at doing both than I used to be. I am extremely uncomfortable looking people in the eye when I talk to them. It’s only since I’ve been learning about disabilities which have social skills components that I even realized that 1. I didn’t look people in the eye when I talked to them, and 2. My not looking people in the eye when I talked to them was a social faux pas. Now, I really make an effort to try to at least look in the general region of the eyes of the person to whom I’m talking. (Looking directly into their eyes usually still makes me feel very uncomfortable.) One of the other big lessons I’ve learned fairly recently is that other people want you to ask questions about them, and don’t consider questions about themselves to be prying. I used to think that if people wanted me to know something about themselves, they’d just tell me in the first place. And that if they didn’t tell me something without my asking, then it wasn’t any of my business. Now, mainly through my work which often involves interviewing people about their personal lives, I’ve learned that most people are quite flattered when you show an interest in them by asking questions. Since I’ve started making a concerted effort to ask more questions of others, I find general conversations with others much easier, and much more interesting. And, I’ve learned that the less I talk, and the more I encourage others to talk about themselves, the more people want to talk to me. Well, duh. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
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What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution?
Show a little hubris. …. ( Thank you MothWrangler for pointing this out to me. ) Having a sense of self-confidence ISN’T bullshit. It is a type of self-evaluation which is of crucial importance. If a person overestimates their own ability then they are in deep doo doo. It seems to me that *most* people with ADD ought to be much more confident of their own ability then they appear as being ( CONTEXTUAL DECISION MAKING ASIDE … ) This doesn’t seem to be how it is. Regrettably, that ability to be self-confident is NOW beyond me. …. too many war wounds. …. too shell shocked. … too much PTSD. Stupid fucking ex-psychiatrist. YES. I blame him. It is appropriate and reasonable for me to point out that he contradicted and failed HIMSELF … that it had tangible, deleterious consequence. Does anyone believe this? ROTPMGO.
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expounded: Improve your social skills. Good social skills are a key factor in success as an adult – whether in the workplace or in your personal life. If you experience interpersonal problems, it’s important to understand how your ADD (ADHD) may impact the relationships in your life and to develop better patterns of relating to others. How the heck do we do this one? What are things that have helped you improve your social skills? Or have you simply reduced your social circle to those who deal well with your "eccentricities"? I know many who completely withdraw, but is that an effective solution?
Developing a very thick skin and a tough front is the only way I dealt. The social rejection and isolation I felt during my young child and then teen years was acute, I decided I’d be harder than them, and it worked – eventually. Then, 50 years of living – and coming to the realization that everyone has things they have to deal with. My ‘things’ are my own, I’m responsible for them, I need to take care of them myself. Hardass? Yea, but I’ve mellowed ;- — Ann e-mail address is not checked
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While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them.
Good stuff, Nancy.
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While I don’t have ADHD, but I do have some social skills issues. They’ve gotten *much* better since I was a kid, but I’m still working on improving them. Good stuff, Nancy.
Yup! The eye thing is one I had trouble with and still do on occasion. *And* I practised smiling in the mirror when I was younger… got fed up of people asking me if I was ok and "what’s wrong?" when my face was relaxed. — Vashti
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I’ve made big strides here in the past year largely due to starting stimulants, so it’s fresh in my mind and I more or less know how I’m different now. These are the steps I took/take to improve my social skills: 1. I try to reduce or eliminate distractions. If there’s something going on in the room that’s making it very difficult for me to follow a conversation, I explain that I’m easily distracted, and sometimes others even help me fix it. If for some reason it’s impossible to counteract or eliminate whatever is distracting me, I excuse myself, because I know from experience that I’ll only get frustrated and embarrass myself if try to stay with a conversation I can’t follow, and my resulting behavior may be bewildering to others in the room.
Oooh- this is a big one for me! *Finally* I’m learning when to tell people that something’s driving me to distraction, I always thought people would find it odd but mostly they really will turn off that computer/fan, adjust the blinds or swap seats with me so I can concentrate. 2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds.
Oops, I’ll try to remember this… hopefully I’m not interrupting too much! Maybe just realising that it can happen(I used to be too shy to open my mouth so this is newish for me) will be helpful. 3. I find a way to say exactly what I think, honestly and politely and with humor if possible. Unspoken words are remarkably unsettling and distracting for me. I’ve very nearly stopped censoring my speech at all with peers. Sounds crazy but it *usually* works for me.
Maybe it’s cause I’m unmedicated but I still find myself blurting out things that make no sense to those around me when I do know they probably haven’t seen the film or read the book I’m referring to. 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence.
Congarats! How’re things going right now? Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody.
Oh, I hope so!!! I’m still hopeful I’ll find my just-right spot someday. — Vashti
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2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds. Oops, I’ll try to remember this… hopefully I’m not interrupting too much! Maybe just realising that it can happen(I used to be too shy to open my mouth so this is newish for me) will be helpful.
Heh. Well, I didn’t mean *you.* It sort of goes without saying that on your worst day you have better social skills than I do on my best. 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence. Congarats! How’re things going right now?
The summer work experience as an NA has been great, and has only made me feel better about nursing in spite of the backbreaking work hoisting people and cleaning their bottoms. The online class that goes along with it is a boatload of meaningless busywork with no practical application. I’m having a hard time getting the work done; in fact I’m procrastinating at this very moment. My assignments are all due Monday, and Tuesday I have the wrap-up day on campus for the online class. The fall semester starts Wed 8/23. For the first half of the semester, I start with my psychiatry rotation on the psych floor of a local hospital. I’ve had a lot of experience comfortably dealing with agitated dementia patients over the summer, so I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about how I’ll handle dealing with psych patients. Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody. Oh, I hope so!!! I’m still hopeful I’ll find my just-right spot someday.
Or maybe you have found it. I worry that the post that generated your response might have seemed didactic or otherwise unpleasant. Over the last 18 months I’ve really blossomed, and it’s impossible to miss in person. (But maybe not in writing.) For one thing, I dropped over 40 pound. For another, I was sort of a depressed and lonely drudge typing away in my dungeon, and now I’m happy and gregarious and I have good friends and satisfying work. People who haven’t seen me in a year just about drop their teeth and can’t shut up about it. That’s probably influenced my social skills somewhat too. My social skills have changed an awful lot for the better in the past year, but maybe I suck at expressing how and why in writing. Oh well.
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2. When it feels like others aren’t letting me talk, I’m the one who’s interrupting. It’s time to take my meds. Oops, I’ll try to remember this… hopefully I’m not interrupting too much! Maybe just realising that it can happen(I used to be too shy to open my mouth so this is newish for me) will be helpful. Heh. Well, I didn’t mean *you.* It sort of goes without saying that on your worst day you have better social skills than I do on my best.
Oi, you haven’t even *heard* me babble on IRL! One day, when the kids were quite young still, I decided I’d greet people I passed in the park just like the elderly always do… it’s the polite thing to do here and a good example for the kids. Somewhere between my teens and now I went from a deathly shy stutterer to a non-stop babbler… while it’s good that I can now actually talk to people without blushing or looking down, it would be nice if the other person could get a word in edge-ways, LOL! My social skills on a really bad day? The local bus drivers are lucky I can’t reach the emergency door release…<g I’m more polite about things regarding myself than those close to me but with the fibro I’ve also needed to learn to stand up for myself, it’s the finer details I need to work on: somewhere between yelling at someone for hurting me and politely asking them to stop please, you know? 4. I’ve found my place in the world. I love taking care of sick people. It’s a job that requires a lot of energy (I have extra). My patients are crazy about me and I get a lot of positive feedback from them for being exactly who I am and doing what I love to do. It makes me feel valuable, which has greatly improved my self-esteem and confidence. Congarats! How’re things going right now? The summer work experience as an NA has been great, and has only made me feel better about nursing in spite of the backbreaking work hoisting people and cleaning their bottoms.
Oh hey(have I asked this before?): you *are* being taught the right way to move heavy people, using them machine thingies if needed, right? You really have to watch your back in nursing! The online class that goes along with it is a boatload of meaningless busywork with no practical application. I’m having a hard time getting the work done; in fact I’m procrastinating at this very moment. My assignments are all due Monday, and Tuesday I have the wrap-up day on campus for the online class.
Aw, not more busywork??? I always hated that about secondary school: those meaningless exercises which only seemed intended to take up time when they could have just asked one short question instead. The fall semester starts Wed 8/23. For the first half of the semester, I start with my psychiatry rotation on the psych floor of a local hospital. I’ve had a lot of experience comfortably dealing with agitated dementia patients over the summer, so I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about how I’ll handle dealing with psych patients.
You’ll be fine: my mother had a rough time when she worked in a mental hospital in the ’70’s but that place was like something from a horror film. She was unschooled yet got the hospital in-house jobs for the patients, saved for a minivan for outings and all sorts of stuff but then the committee in charge of funding changed their minds and took the money the patients had made and sunk it into some other council fund. 
IIRC one patient was there because he was blind… he’d been put there before anyone knew, and another had been there for decades just cause she’d had a baby out of wedlock, her parents checked her in and her family disowned her<grrr! Nowadays the meds are better, hopefully the docs are better and they’ll have *you*! Not that everybody should go into nursing, but surely there’s a just-right spot for everybody. Oh, I hope so!!! I’m still hopeful I’ll find my just-right spot someday. Or maybe you have found it.
Nah, I need some challenges in life… er- a different kind of challenge than any of the ones I’ve already got that is, LOL! Doesn’t need to be anything fancy, no rocket science or anything. Just a little something outside of the house. I worry that the post that generated your response might have seemed didactic or otherwise unpleasant.
No worry necessary, it wasn’t unpleasant: it was uplifting! Over the last 18 months I’ve really blossomed, and it’s impossible to miss in person. (But maybe not in writing.) For one thing, I dropped over 40 pound.
Hey, congrats! The physical side is eating up calories, eh? For another, I was sort of a depressed and lonely drudge typing away in my dungeon, and now I’m happy and gregarious and I have good friends and satisfying work.
See, *that’s* what I mean about why I want a job or something! I may not be depressed but I am fairly isolated and have no outside interests, things are getting better on various fronts so getting out and about and being more active outside the home is the next logical step. People who haven’t seen me in a year just about drop their teeth and can’t shut up about it. That’s probably influenced my social skills somewhat too. My social skills have changed an awful lot for the better in the past year, but maybe I suck at expressing how and why in writing.
Naw, you don’t… but you’re really crap at mind-reading and if it makes you feel any better, so am I! If you ever offend or upset me I’ll come right out and tell you, and you do the same for me, ok? — Vashti
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Oi, you haven’t even *heard* me babble on IRL! One day, when the kids were quite young still, I decided I’d greet people I passed in the park just like the elderly always do… it’s the polite thing to do here and a good example for the kids. Somewhere between my teens and now I went from a deathly shy stutterer to a non-stop babbler… while it’s good that I can now actually talk to people without blushing or looking down, it would be nice if the other person could get a word in edge-ways, LOL! My social skills on a really bad day? The local bus drivers are lucky I can’t reach the emergency door release…<g I’m more polite about things regarding myself than those close to me but with the fibro I’ve also needed to learn to stand up for myself, it’s the finer details I need to work on: somewhere between yelling at someone for hurting me and politely asking them to stop please, you know?
Yeah. Pain definitely complicates the whole ADHD/social skills thang. Oh hey(have I asked this before?): you *are* being taught the right way to move heavy people, using them machine thingies if needed, right? You really have to watch your back in nursing!
Yes. And in the hospital they encourage you to do it the right way. At the rehab center and in the nursing home they expect you to do most of your work shifting folks around by yourself, although I did get help to work with people who weigh 200 lb and up. I expect to be working in a hospital ultimately, and I won’t be doing much of this sort of work after I take my RN licensing exam, so I suppose my back will survive. I do worry about the CNAs who work at nursing homes long-term. Many of them at the rehab where I worked this summer are men or heavy-set women. Being little there was definitely a disadvantage. You mostly use your weight as a counterbalance to shift people around — not your muscles. You’ll be fine: my mother had a rough time when she worked in a mental hospital in the ’70’s but that place was like something from a horror film. She was unschooled yet got the hospital in-house jobs for the patients, saved for a minivan for outings and all sorts of stuff but then the committee in charge of funding changed their minds and took the money the patients had made and sunk it into some other council fund. IIRC one patient was there because he was blind… he’d been put there before anyone knew, and another had been there for decades just cause she’d had a baby out of wedlock, her parents checked her in and her family disowned her<grrr!
There’s no doubt things are better now on that score, although I think we’ve probably swung too far in the other direction. Mentally ill people should not have to live on the street. I worry that the post that generated your response might have seemed didactic or otherwise unpleasant. No worry necessary, it wasn’t unpleasant: it was uplifting!
Good. That’s what I was going for. I think it’s relatively uncommon for an adult to makes drastic changes for the better in a year or so. I feel like I’ve transformed myself from a cautionary tale into an inspirational story. It has been a rough year in that it’s required a great deal of hard work, but I am happy now. Hey, congrats! The physical side is eating up calories, eh?
Well, that and I stopped eating starch and started exercising more regularly. Right now I’m running about 9 to 12 miles a week, which I know ain’t all that impressive, but I am 41 remember. I also lift weights and do yoga. It really helps with mood and focus too. For another, I was sort of a depressed and lonely drudge typing away in my dungeon, and now I’m happy and gregarious and I have good friends and satisfying work. See, *that’s* what I mean about why I want a job or something! I may not be depressed but I am fairly isolated and have no outside interests, things are getting better on various fronts so getting out and about and being more active outside the home is the next logical step.
That sounds great. I think the trick is to find work that satisfies a need you have. People who haven’t seen me in a year just about drop their teeth and can’t shut up about it. That’s probably influenced my social skills somewhat too. My social skills have changed an awful lot for the better in the past year, but maybe I suck at expressing how and why in writing. Naw, you don’t… but you’re really crap at mind-reading and if it makes you feel any better, so am I! If you ever offend or upset me I’ll come right out and tell you, and you do the same for me, ok?
Right. My mindreading skills have *not* improved. If you would please come and sit in my living room I might have been able to figure out how you felt about it. The look I was *imagining* on your face was very disapproving. ;) And the other thing I suck at is keeping my feelings about anything to myself, so in the unlikely event that you ever offend me, you can count on me to blurt out exactly how I feel about it and hit "send" before thinking it through. :) ~Patti
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Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions.
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jul2006/GoodWifesGuide.jpg And the answer is … "No. .. I haven’t taken my stimulant medication yet, today."
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions. Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better? Kitten
This is one area where I know that I have improved! I didn’t realize that I had been irritable, a poor listener, and a little paranoid, until I started taking ADD meds, but now I can see that I was, and feel so much better that I’m not nearly as difficult to live with as I was. And my wife can see the difference, too. Just knowing that I have a treatable condition, and working to be a better person has made me much more aware of my own negative behavior, and better able to deal with it.
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This is one area where I know that I have improved! I didn’t realize that I had been irritable, a poor listener, and a little paranoid, until I started taking ADD meds, but now I can see that I was, and feel so much better that I’m not nearly as difficult to live with as I was. And my wife can see the difference, too.
Very good news.
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This is one area where I know that I have improved! I didn’t realize that I had been irritable, a poor listener, and a little paranoid, until I started taking ADD meds, but now I can see that I was, and feel so much better that I’m not nearly as difficult to live with as I was. And my wife can see the difference, too. Just knowing that I have a treatable condition, and working to be a better person has made me much more aware of my own negative behavior, and better able to deal with it.
That _is_ good news, great to hear! — Vashti
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Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships.
Me too, this seems to be the basis of a person’s life. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better?
Mainly, just learning not to get dragged into those stressed out moments… we can talk about things when the stress has passed and see if we can figure out a solution to any issue etc. — Vashti
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Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions. Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better? Kitten
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Improve your marital and family relationships. ADD (ADHD) issues such as forgetfulness, impatience, anger outbursts and inconsistency can create challenges in marriages and in other family relationships. ADD (ADHD) challenges are best met when they are tackled by the whole family. Every family member, whether they have ADD (ADHD) or not, is affected by ADD (ADHD). It’s important to talk openly about issues and working as a family to find solutions. Personally, I’d have placed this higher on the list, but perhaps for many people, the first 8 things need to be dealt with in order to be able to deal with marital and family relationships. What things have helped you improve your marital and family relationships? What strategies have made things better?
I managed to take the DW to a ‘Marriage councillor’, *ONCE*. Twenty minutes into the session the expert asked my DW: Marriage Councillor: "Do you see any benefit to being married to your DH?" … < 70 seconds of dead silence … DW: "No." http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_aug2006/DivorceCake.jpg
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Question:
I’m male, 26. I weigh about 190 pounds. I was diagnosed with ADD and mild autism when I was 5 or 6. I have improved alot since I was little. But I’ve always struggling with with concentration, focus, processing and retaining information. Since high school, I’ve jumped from job-to-job – some lasted a month, others lasted a few years that I barely held onto by the skin of my teeth. This is the primarily the cause of alot of my anxiety and depression right now. I’m seeing a specialist who treats ADD/ADHD. I trust him and he seems to be knowledgeable. He precribed me on ‘Adderall XR’ for my ADD. I started taking it May 7th with a dosage of 10 mgs. I’ve went up 10 mgs every day till I was sure to notice a difference. I’m at 50 mgs now. I’m definitely noticing side affects, dry mouth, decreased appetite, etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as attention, processing, focusing in general. I’m trying really hard to hold out but I’m sooo…. at my wits end with this. I feel like my life has pretty much been a stale-mate since graduating high school 8 years ago. I’m ready to get better and I realize it’s takes time. I’ve emailed my doctor about the adderall and he said that I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up. I’ll have to monitor myself for 2 weeks then go in for a check-up with my doc. I should mention that i recently lost a job on the 5th, and have been unemployed since then. Honestly, I have been very inactive since then. I’m not sure but I think this might be why I haven’t noticed much difference. Any thoughts, opinions, at all?
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m male, 26. I weigh about 190 pounds. I was diagnosed with ADD and mild autism when I was 5 or 6. I have improved alot since I was little. But I’ve always struggling with with concentration, focus, processing and retaining information. Since high school, I’ve jumped from job-to-job – some lasted a month, others lasted a few years that I barely held onto by the skin of my teeth. This is the primarily the cause of alot of my anxiety and depression right now. I’m seeing a specialist who treats ADD/ADHD. I trust him and he seems to be knowledgeable. He precribed me on ‘Adderall XR’ for my ADD. I started taking it May 7th with a dosage of 10 mgs. I’ve went up 10 mgs every few days till I was sure to notice a difference. I’m at 50 mgs now. I’m definitely noticing side affects, dry mouth, decreased appetite, etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as attention, processing, focusing in general. I’m trying really hard to hold out but I’m sooo…. at my wits end with this. I feel like my life has pretty much been a stale-mate since graduating high school 8 years ago. I’m ready to get better and I realize it’s takes time. I’ve emailed my doctor about the adderall and he said that I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up. I’ll have to monitor myself for 2 weeks then go in for a check-up with my doc. I should mention that i recently lost a job on the 5th, and have been unemployed since then. Honestly, I have been very inactive since then. I’m not sure but I think this might be why I haven’t noticed much difference. Any thoughts, opinions, at all?
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m male, 26. I weigh about 190 pounds. I was diagnosed with ADD and mild autism when I was 5 or 6. I have improved alot since I was little. But I’ve always struggling with with concentration, focus, processing and retaining information. Since high school, I’ve jumped from job-to-job – some lasted a month, others lasted a few years that I barely held onto by the skin of my teeth. This is the primarily the cause of alot of my anxiety and depression right now. I’m seeing a specialist who treats ADD/ADHD. I trust him and he seems to be knowledgeable. He precribed me on ‘Adderall XR’ for my ADD. I started taking it May 7th with a dosage of 10 mgs. I’ve went up 10 mgs every day till I was sure to notice a difference. I’m at 50 mgs now. I’m definitely noticing side affects, dry mouth, decreased appetite, etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as attention, processing, focusing in general. I’m trying really hard to hold out but I’m sooo…. at my wits end with this. I feel like my life has pretty much been a stale-mate since graduating high school 8 years ago. I’m ready to get better and I realize it’s takes time. I’ve emailed my doctor about the adderall and he said that I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up. I’ll have to monitor myself for 2 weeks then go in for a check-up with my doc. I should mention that i recently lost a job on the 5th, and have been unemployed since then. Honestly, I have been very inactive since then. I’m not sure but I think this might be why I haven’t noticed much difference. Any thoughts, opinions, at all?
I have ADD (inattentive). I started on Adderall a few months ago at the tender age of 52. ;-) It had taken that long for someone to realize I wasn’t just lazy and irresponsible. *sigh* The first day I was on it I felt like someone had hit me in the head with a velvet mallet. Everything slowed down, and I had had no idea that I had been running fast! That first week I started noticing that I could start, work on, and complete tasks. It was amazing. No more paralysis that kept me from putting plans into action. I could also think someone was a jerk but not communicate it to them! That really helped my office work relations. :-P The thing is, I didn’t notice any benefits until I tried doing stuff. Have you tried doing some of the things that have been hard for you in the past? You may not notice the beneficial effects unless you do. I’m on a very low dose (10 mg XR twice a day), and it wasn’t until after three months that I started noticing loss of appetite and trouble sleeping — although the trouble sleeping may be more from the extra caffeine I’m ingesting to stay alert. The Adderall makes me drowsy. For me they shouldn’t call it "speed" but "lassitude." ;-) Dunno if this helps, but I’m glad you’re posting and asking. It may be that you need a different med. Not everyone is wired the same way, and not all of us with funky wiring respond the same way to the same meds. Good luck, and keep posting! Priscilla, ADDult
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The thing is, I didn’t notice any benefits until I tried doing stuff. Have you tried doing some of the things that have been hard for you in the past? You may not notice the beneficial effects unless you do.
I think that might be right. Try doing some stuff and see if it goes better. Also, ask other people if they see a difference. Adders aren’t always the best at self assessment.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m male, 26. I weigh about 190 pounds. I was diagnosed with ADD and mild autism when I was 5 or 6. I have improved alot since I was little. But I’ve always struggling with with concentration, focus, processing and retaining information. Since high school, I’ve jumped from job-to-job – some lasted a month, others lasted a few years that I barely held onto by the skin of my teeth. This is the primarily the cause of alot of my anxiety and depression right now. I’m seeing a specialist who treats ADD/ADHD. I trust him and he seems to be knowledgeable. He precribed me on ‘Adderall XR’ for my ADD. I started taking it May 7th with a dosage of 10 mgs. I’ve went up 10 mgs every few days till I was sure to notice a difference. I’m at 50 mgs now. I’m definitely noticing side affects, dry mouth, decreased appetite, etc. However, I’m not noticing any difference as far as attention, processing, focusing in general. I’m trying really hard to hold out but I’m sooo…. at my wits end with this. I feel like my life has pretty much been a stale-mate since graduating high school 8 years ago. I’m ready to get better and I realize it’s takes time. I’ve emailed my doctor about the adderall and he said that I should notice a difference either right away or more subtle and to keep going up. I’ll have to monitor myself for 2 weeks then go in for a check-up with my doc. I should mention that i recently lost a job on the 5th, and have been unemployed since then. Honestly, I have been very inactive since then. I’m not sure but I think this might be why I haven’t noticed much difference. Any thoughts, opinions, at all?
I’m taking short-acting Focalin now and I like it, but it’s not a panacea. I think I get more benefit from exercising strenuously three to four times a week. Neither alone is really enough to make me productive — I need both. I’m in nursing school right now, and I’ve also found that when I’m on a break from school, I’m terribly unproductive, I think because I let my schedule provide structure for my life, so with nothing pressing to do, I get nothing done. -Patti
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Question:
Is anyone else out there taking Provigil (modafinil) for ADD? I have been taking it for about 4 months, and very impressed. It has almost no side-effects, and seems very gentle when compared to other medications. I am curious to hear if anyone else has tried it, and how it worked out for them… Please tell!
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Are you in USA?
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Is anyone else out there taking Provigil (modafinil) for ADD? I have been taking it for about 4 months, and very impressed. It has almost no side-effects, and seems very gentle when compared to other medications. I am curious to hear if anyone else has tried it, and how it worked out for them… Please tell!
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Is anyone else out there taking Provigil (modafinil) for ADD? I have been taking it for about 4 months, and very impressed. It has almost no side-effects, and seems very gentle when compared to other medications. I am curious to hear if anyone else has tried it, and how it worked out for them… Please tell!
I tried it in a study. I had what they called a "paradoxical reaction," with confusion. It very effectively treated my insomnia, which stayed away for months after I stopped using it. At the time I was trying to lose weight, and it did make me lose some weight as well, which I promptly gained back as soon as I stopped taking it. Unfortunately I could barely carry on a conversation, so I had to quit the study.
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o’Hush… wow… that is a really severe reaction. It works the opposite for me and many people I know – gets rid of the mental fog and brings clarity. Interesting to hear your story! is anyone else out there using it for ADD/ADHD ? Any successes or failures?
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I’d heard they had started using that with children, I don’t think its made its rounds yet to psych docs yet.
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o’Hush… wow… that is a really severe reaction. It works the opposite for me and many people I know – gets rid of the mental fog and brings clarity. Interesting to hear your story! is anyone else out there using it for ADD/ADHD ? Any successes or failures?
Tried it, but it seemed to amplify my symptoms…. -n
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o’Hush… wow… that is a really severe reaction. It works the opposite for me and many people I know – gets rid of the mental fog and brings clarity. Interesting to hear your story! is anyone else out there using it for ADD/ADHD ? Any successes or failures? Tried it, but it seemed to amplify my symptoms…. -n
Ooh! That makes two of us. And somebody else here said it made him psychotic I think.
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Question:
<snip Right now, she (Chelsea) is failing Algebra II and not doing too well in Chemistry because she finds those subjects boring. If she *is* diagnosed ADHD, how much could we expect medication to help her focus on subjects she doesn’t like? Would this still be a problem, or could we expect to see a dramatic improvement? For anyone on medication, or with kids on medication (I did read your post Emma, thanks!), how much of a difference do you feel it makes to your functioning, and how? Do you have any problems with mood adjustment when the med wears off? <snip Marcia
Marcia: I am an intelligent adult age 55 who has struggled to stay interested and learn some subjects all my life because I couldn’t stay focused on them and was easily distracted. Ritalin did wonders to help me to stick to, learn and complete tasks that I didn’t like. For example, although I graduated from university, I have been a poor speller and have looked up some words continuously for 40 years. Since being diagnosed with severe AD(H)D and starting Ritalin, last year,I have managed to learn a large number of words that I could never remember how to spell previously. Also I can stick to tasks that I hated. I used to get so impatient with doing the dishes that I would get distracted, wander away and take up to 3 hours to do the evening dishes with perhaps 3 starts. Since starting Ritalin, I start and finish tasks like this and others I hate in a few minutes. I have a simple math tricks web page and have found that many girls do not do well in math because none of their friends find it interesting. Being a smart girl also isn’t cool in some circles. It is easy to fit a warped social norm which I think is wrong. As far as mood adjustments I can only say that when the meds subside, I get more forgetful, more distracted and have trouble finishing or sticking to tasks. I also become bitchy. – Vic
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I joined this group with the hope of learning more about ADD/ADHD, but practically all I read are petty, off-topic posts and flames. You all (or some of you) are chasing away people who want to participate in real discussions on the subject allegedly in this group’s charter, because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh.
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I joined this group with the hope of learning more about ADD/ADHD, but practically all I read are petty, off-topic posts and flames. You all (or some of you) are chasing away people who want to participate in real discussions on the subject allegedly in this group’s charter, because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh.
Marcia, like me, you’re using google to read the newsgroup. There aren’t any filters with google. The only true way to resolve the issue is to use an actual newsreader and get the groups through a news server. I like Agent’s newsreader and am looking at different news servers. I was going to try one of the remaining free ones last week, but the folks who add accounts were out on vacation. Kitten
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I joined this group with the hope of learning more about ADD/ADHD, but practically all I read are petty, off-topic posts and flames. You all (or some of you) are chasing away people who want to participate in real discussions on the subject allegedly in this group’s charter, because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh.
Asking a question, raising an issue, are the sure fire ways of getting a discussion going. What do you feel you need to discuss/learn about AD/HD? What is on YOUR mind?
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because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh.
See the threads about killfiles. — We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams. from "Ode", Arthur O’Shaughnessy
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I joined this group with the hope of learning more about ADD/ADHD, but practically all I read are petty, off-topic posts and flames. You all (or some of you) are chasing away people who want to participate in real discussions on the subject allegedly in this group’s charter, because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh. Asking a question, raising an issue, are the sure fire ways of getting a discussion going. What do you feel you need to discuss/learn about AD/HD? What is on YOUR mind?
Well, I did post something and got a very thoughtful and intelligent response from you, which I appreciated. I guess what I was hoping was that *other* people would also be asking questions and raising issues, so that I could learn from their experiences, too. But there doesn’t seem to be a lot of that, so far. I’m at the point where I don’t know what I don’t know, if you follow. I’ve read a book or two and a few articles, but I have a feeling the information has just scratched the surface. I guess I was just hoping for more relevent activity. ::shrug::
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I joined this group with the hope of learning more about ADD/ADHD, but practically all I read are petty, off-topic posts and flames. You all (or some of you) are chasing away people who want to participate in real discussions on the subject allegedly in this group’s charter, because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh. Marcia, like me, you’re using google to read the newsgroup. There aren’t any filters with google. The only true way to resolve the issue is to use an actual newsreader and get the groups through a news server. I like Agent’s newsreader and am looking at different news servers. I was going to try one of the remaining free ones last week, but the folks who add accounts were out on vacation. Kitten
Thanks, Kitten. I don’t really want to change from Google groups because it’s easier for me to identify and follow threads the way groups is organized. Also, I’m following a couple of different groups, so the total volume of email/newsreader messages would be overwhelming if I switched… not to mention how often I’d have to clean off my hard disk…
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<snipped Well, I did post something and got a very thoughtful and intelligent response from you, which I appreciated. I guess what I was hoping was that *other* people would also be asking questions and raising issues, so that I could learn from their experiences, too. But there doesn’t seem to be a lot of that, so far. I’m at the point where I don’t know what I don’t know, if you follow. I’ve read a book or two and a few articles, but I have a feeling the information has just scratched the surface. I guess I was just hoping for more relevent activity. ::shrug::
OK, let’s try a different approach. What are some of the things you’re dealing with, WRT ADHD? Starting from there, it will be easier for us to know what we can write about that may help you. But also remember that many of us posting here actually have ADHD, and some of us have ADHD plus are working with family members who have ADHD, and some of us don’t have ADHD but are workign with family members who have it. So sometimes a the discussions may not seem as relevant to some as they do to others. It’s just that, when you have a group of ADDers, … Oh, look! A moth! Kitten
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because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh. See the threads about killfiles.
Thanks, Howard. I don’t think that’s possible from Google groups, which is what I use by preference. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – — We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams. from "Ode", Arthur O’Shaughnessy
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <snipped OK, let’s try a different approach. What are some of the things you’re dealing with, WRT ADHD? Starting from there, it will be easier for us to know what we can write about that may help you. But also remember that many of us posting here actually have ADHD, and some of us have ADHD plus are working with family members who have ADHD, and some of us don’t have ADHD but are workign with family members who have it. So sometimes a the discussions may not seem as relevant to some as they do to others. It’s just that, when you have a group of ADDers, … Oh, look! A moth! Kitten
LOL. I understand that. My husband has ADD, and I also have a touch (according to my doctor). I always thought that "Oh, look! A moth!" was what everyone did. [You probably have an idea as to which posts I find most frustrating.] At the moment we’re trying to get our oldest daughter evaluated for ADHD, and are having some difficulty distinguishing between which could be bipolar symptoms (from me) and which might be ADD/ADHD (more from her Dad). She does not seem bipolar to me, in my experience of the disorder, but after 3 days of neuropsych evaluation, she was dx’d with cyclothymia, a bipolar spectrum disorder. I don’t think she fits the criteria. I also think the psychologist was biased, which I explained in an earlier post (that I don’t know how to provide a pointer to from groups). I wonder if anyone else had a similar experience, or an understanding of the nuances between the two disorders. Anyway, I appreciate the responses. I’ve got to run now, or I’ll be late seeing my own doctor. I’m going to see if he can give me any insight in the 15 minutes I’m allotted. Marcia
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<snipped Thanks, Kitten. I don’t really want to change from Google groups because it’s easier for me to identify and follow threads the way groups is organized. Also, I’m following a couple of different groups, so the total volume of email/newsreader messages would be overwhelming if I switched… not to mention how often I’d have to clean off my hard disk…
yeah, but I’m getting tired of seeing that troll who’s creating accts that start F*, IYKWIM. Kitten
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I joined this group with the hope of learning more about ADD/ADHD, but practically all I read are petty, off-topic posts and flames. You all (or some of you) are chasing away people who want to participate in real discussions on the subject allegedly in this group’s charter, because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh.
It is nice to see your comment. I agree totally. There are a few who are genuinely trying to share AD(H)D problems and solutions and provide support. However, there are too many who just fight and clutter up the group with REPOSTs from web sites. I also totally disagree with the people who: 1) Post entire articles lifted from web pages. These are too long for most who have AD(H)D to read. They also make it almost impossible for parents of children with AD(H)D to quickly determine if they are worth reading. INSTEAD do a synopsis and post a link if you must. A good synopsis which tells why someone should read the article will be great. 2) Requote the entire article from a post like in #1. Instead, quote only what you want to respond to. If you want to respond to the entire you are likely saying too much in one post. 3) Make personal attacks on one another. We don’t need to hear that you think another person is a liar. If you want to get rid of the offenders, I would suggest you use kill filters. They feed on recognition and will loose satisfaction if they are ignored. I try to never respond to these posts. I am sure that if you post a positive article or a question, you will get a positive response. With all the clutter, it is hard to find them though. If you would rather look for a small group where the unsavory behaviour is NOT allowed, you might want to try: http://www.scatterbrained.net/ I know they will welcome and help you. Best wishes and good luck, Vic
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I joined this group with the hope of learning more about ADD/ADHD, but practically all I read are petty, off-topic posts and flames. You all (or some of you) are chasing away people who want to participate in real discussions on the subject allegedly in this group’s charter, because such dialogue apparently doesn’t occur here. Sigh.
The best way to see an on-topic discussion is to start one. Don’t sit back and wait for others to post what you want to read about. So what do you want to discuss about ADHD? Nancy Unique, like everyone else
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Thanks, Howard. I don’t think that’s possible from Google groups, which is what I use by preference.
You can see the threads. You just can’t use killfiles. But since that’s the only way to read news and keep your sanity, well… — We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams. from "Ode", Arthur O’Shaughnessy
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Thanks, Kitten. I don’t really want to change from Google groups because it’s easier for me to identify and follow threads the way groups is organized. Also, I’m following a couple of different groups, so the total volume of email/newsreader messages would be overwhelming if I switched… not to mention how often I’d have to clean off my hard disk…
It sounds like you don’t understand what a newsreader can do. The fact that there are a shitload of different newsreaders matters also, as they’ve all got different sets of features. — We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams. from "Ode", Arthur O’Shaughnessy
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LOL. I understand that. My husband has ADD, and I also have a touch (according to my doctor). I always thought that "Oh, look! A moth!" was what everyone did. [You probably have an idea as to which posts I find most frustrating.]
You don’t have to read all the post, ya know. You’re probably not missing anything vitally important if you choose not to read the ones you find frustrating. At the moment we’re trying to get our oldest daughter evaluated for ADHD, and are having some difficulty distinguishing between which could be bipolar symptoms (from me) and which might be ADD/ADHD (more from her Dad). She does not seem bipolar to me, in my experience of the disorder, but after 3 days of neuropsych evaluation, she was dx’d with cyclothymia, a bipolar spectrum disorder. I don’t think she fits the criteria. I also think the psychologist was biased, which I explained in an earlier post (that I don’t know how to provide a pointer to from groups). I wonder if anyone else had a similar experience, or an understanding of the nuances between the two disorders.
I remember your other post explaining the situation, and I feel you are well justified in seeking another opinion. You know your daughter better than the doctor does, and if the diagnosis doesn’t seem to fit what you know about her, it’s best to check with another doctor, especially since the first doctor couldn’t explain the basis for his diagnosis to your satisfaction. What’s odd in your daughter’s case, is that, from what I’ve read, doctors are more likely to diagnose ADHD in a child who actually is bipolar, than bipolar disorder in a child who is showing symptoms of what could be ADHD. One reason for that misdiagnosis is that the symptoms of bipolar disorder, especially in younger children, are different than those commonly associated with bipolar disorder in adults. Another reason is that some doctors are still of the mindset that bipolar disorder is an adult disorder, and ADHD is a childhood disorder. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
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Thanks, Howard. I don’t think that’s possible from Google groups, which is what I use by preference. You can see the threads.
Well, I have my newsreader set up to organize posts by threads. Can’t you do that with most newsreaders? You just can’t use killfiles. But since that’s the only way to read news and keep your sanity, well…
Nancy Unique, like everyone else
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Thanks, Kitten. I don’t really want to change from Google groups because it’s easier for me to identify and follow threads the way groups is organized. Also, I’m following a couple of different groups, so the total volume of email/newsreader messages would be overwhelming if I switched… not to mention how often I’d have to clean off my hard disk…
I’ve not going to try to persuade you to stop using google groups, if you really want to stick with it–if you’re making your decision based on good info. I don’t know how all newsreaders work, but I only actually download the posts to my hard drive if I’d want to read them off-line for some reason, which is very rarely. I don’t understand why reading the posts with a newsreader would be more overwhelming than on google groups. Can you explain why you feel that would be true for you. Personally, I find google groups much more overwhelming than using a news service and newsreader. For one thing, I have my newsreader set to delete read posts when I close the newsreader (or move to another newsgroup–I am a regular lurker at a number of them, although I currently post regularly only to ASAD). That trims the clutter of having messages I no longer need, and, IMO, makes the groups much more manageable. Then there’s the newsreader’s ability to killfile and filter, eliminating a lot of trash that I don’t want to read. Nancy Unique, like everyone else
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Thanks, Howard. I don’t think that’s possible from Google groups, which is what I use by preference. You can see the threads. Well, I have my newsreader set up to organize posts by threads. Can’t you do that with most newsreaders?
Mine does (MacSoup). I wouldn’t be here if I had to do it through Google.
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At the moment we’re trying to get our oldest daughter evaluated for ADHD, and are having some difficulty distinguishing between which could be bipolar symptoms (from me) and which might be ADD/ADHD (more from her Dad). She does not seem bipolar to me, in my experience of the disorder, but after 3 days of neuropsych evaluation, she was dx’d with cyclothymia, a bipolar spectrum disorder. I don’t think she fits the criteria. I also think the psychologist was biased, which I explained in an earlier post (that I don’t know how to provide a pointer to from groups).
There were people muttering things like bipolar and ODD about our DYD before she started treatment for ADD. Thankfully, that is all she needed. Not that she isn’t still a handful and a half (!!!) but she is a happy, functioning handful and a half. I am making no predictions about your daughter, of course – just my anecdote.
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Well, I have my newsreader set up to organize posts by threads. Can’t you do that with most newsreaders?
I expect so. I’ve not tried most newsreaders. And I don’t consider web-based ‘newsreaders’ to be the real thing. — We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams. from "Ode", Arthur O’Shaughnessy
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Wow! Thanks for the great response, everyone. I appreciate it, and I apologize if my original post (or the topic header) offended anyone. A couple of reasons I’m on Google groups instead of news server: 1) I have two computers I go back and forth between, and I want to be able to follow the NG regardless of which I’m on; 2) The computer I’m typing this on now is very old and going out of service sometime this year, so I don’t want to bother organizing folders and setting up a bunch of rules when I might have to do it over again in a few months. 3) I used a news server in the past and didn’t like it. I’m sure they’ve improved a LOT since then, but I’m basically lazy and don’t want to have to organize stuff myself, which is probably at the heart of the matter. So, now that I know there are other concerned people here, I’ll just focus on the posts that seem relevent to me and stop whining about the OT stuff (I’m really only bothered by the flames, but apparently I’m not alone). What I want to know about ADD/ADHD is: everything! Okay, this post might be getting too long. I saw my doctor and learned some things about the psychologist my daughter saw (next post).
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Apparently, the psychologist we saw at the University used to work in my pdoc’s practice and was let go because he diagnosed practically *everyone* bipolar, and also gave inappropriate medication advice, and generally created friction between his patients and the doctors in the practice. My doctor confirmed the guy had a bias toward bipolar, and said he wouldn’t recommend *anyone* see him for treatment, so basically we are back at square one with my daughter’s diagnosis. He did have nice things to say about the pdoc I want to take her to for the second opinion, so that’s encouraging. Right now, she (Chelsea) is failing Algebra II and not doing too well in Chemistry because she finds those subjects boring. If she *is* diagnosed ADHD, how much could we expect medication to help her focus on subjects she doesn’t like? Would this still be a problem, or could we expect to see a dramatic improvement? For anyone on medication, or with kids on medication (I did read your post Emma, thanks!), how much of a difference do you feel it makes to your functioning, and how? Do you have any problems with mood adjustment when the med wears off? TIA for any insight you all are willing to share. Marcia
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wow! Thanks for the great response, everyone. I appreciate it, and I apologize if my original post (or the topic header) offended anyone. A couple of reasons I’m on Google groups instead of news server: 1) I have two computers I go back and forth between, and I want to be able to follow the NG regardless of which I’m on; 2) The computer I’m typing this on now is very old and going out of service sometime this year, so I don’t want to bother organizing folders and setting up a bunch of rules when I might have to do it over again in a few months. 3) I used a news server in the past and didn’t like it. I’m sure they’ve improved a LOT since then, but I’m basically lazy and don’t want to have to organize stuff myself, which is probably at the heart of the matter. So, now that I know there are other concerned people here, I’ll just focus on the posts that seem relevent to me and stop whining about the OT stuff (I’m really only bothered by the flames, but apparently I’m not alone).
<hands over slightly used asbestos suit Welcome to the club…many of us get toasted from time to time <G And, if we get a tad OT from time to time, from chasing moths or whatever…sometimes we need someone to remind us to change the subject header to let others in on it <G What I want to know about ADD/ADHD is: everything!
<BG Talk about a BIG thread drift ahead! LOL….. Okay, this post might be getting too long.
…as long as it is broken up into manageable sections, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem…one thing that makes it very hard to read is long, unbroken sections of text…. — Buny " Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~ Albert Camus
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Apparently, the psychologist we saw at the University used to work in my pdoc’s practice and was let go because he diagnosed practically *everyone* bipolar, and also gave inappropriate medication advice, and generally created friction between his patients and the doctors in the practice. My doctor confirmed the guy had a bias toward bipolar, and said he wouldn’t recommend *anyone* see him for treatment, so basically we are back at square one with my daughter’s diagnosis.
"If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything around you starts to look like a nail"? As a woman with ADHD, who has a son with ADHD and another son with ADHD/gifted/aspergers/sensory integration disorder, I have to remind myself of this concept often, especially since I work with kids (Scouts, substitute teach, special ed major, etc) <G He did have nice things to say about the pdoc I want to take her to for the second opinion, so that’s encouraging. Right now, she (Chelsea) is failing Algebra II and not doing too well in Chemistry because she finds those subjects boring. If she *is* diagnosed ADHD, how much could we expect medication to help her focus on subjects she doesn’t like? Would this still be a problem, or could we expect to see a dramatic improvement? For anyone on medication, or with kids on medication (I did read your post Emma, thanks!), how much of a difference do you feel it makes to your functioning, and how?
Most of us are not all that good at self-monitoring, but I found that the one thing I could not do as well on meds was multi-task…I have to consciously switch gears instead of do so automatically, and I cannot "juggle" as many things as efficiently. My kids, however, say I am not so quick to say, "No," but tend to say, "Give me a minute, let me think about it," and then say either now or yes…I don’t fly off the handle as much. I am not as hyper/impulsive, and when I was in college classes, I did not have to re-read my texts as much. My kids were not as impulsive either, though neither of them have been on meds in at least 3 years….we have used a lot of environmental modifications that have been learned over the years…but we also realise that nothing is "set in stone" and that at any time any of us can start meds again if we feel the need (I only take my meds when I need them, not on a daily basis) Do you have any problems with mood adjustment when the med wears off?
None that I can see…there were some times during early puberty that my sons did, usually on highly stressfull days, such as exam days…those were days that the kids were having to spend the days "sitting still and quiet, ‘passing as normal’ " for longer periods of time than average….highly stressfull for the average kid, extra so for our kids. Usually a caffeinated soda was enough of a stimulant to hep take the edge off of the let down for them. — Buny " Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~ Albert Camus
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Question:
One of the comments was ‘a very likeable and helpful child, who contributes to the group but demands attention. He makes his presence known and is not one you can ignore." These are not necessarily good traits.
I disagree. These last are good traits. :-)
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Google me and read me in the archives. <snip Cordially, RL
RL: First things I did when I started lurking early last summer were: – did a Google ‘groups’ search of ALL the regular posters – did further research on some of them – reviewed many of the past posts – looked at the headers and sources of many of the postings – reviewed cross posts – reviewed many of the older posts to this group – looked at the type of posts, volumes and activity levels – looked for anything worth while – ignored the meaningless I have been on the Usenet for many years and always check out a group before posting. I used to use the DejaNews archive from when it was first was introduced. I always like to get a feel for a group before I commit to participation. [if you check me out you will see posts going back to early'97] [If you know how to look you will find posts from a few years earlier] You will find that I have often tried to revive groups to encourage meaningful posts. You will see that I have always tried to be helpful and a positive force. You may notice that I will NOT participate in trolling, flames, or derogatory comments about others regardless of what anyone says about me, too me or to or about anyone else. Best wishes as always, – Vic I refuse to ‘feed the trolls’ and will not respond to any troll post. If you do, you are just making the matter worse.
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Google me and read me in the archives. <snip Cordially, RL RL: First things I did when I started lurking early last summer were: – did a Google ‘groups’ search of ALL the regular posters – did further research on some of them – reviewed many of the past posts – looked at the headers and sources of many of the postings – reviewed cross posts – reviewed many of the older posts to this group – looked at the type of posts, volumes and activity levels – looked for anything worth while – ignored the meaningless I have been on the Usenet for many years and always check out a group before posting. I used to use the DejaNews archive from when it was first was introduced. I always like to get a feel for a group before I commit to participation. [if you check me out you will see posts going back to early'97] [If you know how to look you will find posts from a few years earlier] You will find that I have often tried to revive groups to encourage meaningful posts. You will see that I have always tried to be helpful and a positive force. You may notice that I will NOT participate in trolling, flames, or derogatory comments about others regardless of what anyone says about me, too me or to or about anyone else.
I am glad to hear that. I am *somewhat* similar to yourself. When I read what you post, I see me. I refuse to ‘feed the trolls’ and will not respond to any troll post. If you do, you are just making the matter worse.
On that we disagree. Personnaly, I have a deep need to accept everyone as an equal; notwithstanding their appeal; regardless of their message. To do otherwise, would be to contradict the very ‘essence of who I am. To belittle someone because they seem awkward .. or are trolling … or bear an unpopular idea is an anathema to me. I feel that it is disrespectful to purposefully and pointedly turn my back on someone because I do not enjoy what they express. In the circles, in which I grew up, to do such a thing was very insulting; a strong snub. Everybody is different. There is not slight in suggesting that your passions reside elsewhere. I admire your resolve. Cordially, RL
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First things I did when I started lurking early last summer were: – did a Google ‘groups’ search of ALL the regular posters – did further research on some of them – reviewed many of the past posts – looked at the headers and sources of many of the postings – reviewed cross posts – reviewed many of the older posts to this group – looked at the type of posts, volumes and activity levels – looked for anything worth while – ignored the meaningless
Good grief! That’s far too organised for me… I’ll check for FAQs and lurk a bit(my mother told me it was the "done thing"<g) but beyond that? Most of my searches of the archives are to jog my own memory as to when something or other happened and stuff like that. If I wanted to know when I tried Ritalin I’d need to Google first! Vashti
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In the process of getting my diagnosis, for ADHD, I obtained my elementary school records. This is a good idea if you think you may have ADD/ADHD I was just looking at the records again today. Mine are sprinkled with things like "constant daydreamer", ‘working far below potential" etc.
Mine were like that too and things like: "If Vashti would pay as much attention to (something) as she does (something) her work could be outstanding" or even "performs better in subjects that interest her"… um- *duh!* One of the comments was ‘a very likeable and helpful child, who contributes to the group but demands attention. He makes his presence known and is not one you can ignore." These are not necessarily good traits.
I had "helpful and friendly, sometimes too friendly spending too much time talking to her friends". I wasn’t very disrupted but then I was rather shy. Vashti
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In the process of getting my diagnosis, for ADHD, I obtained my elementary school records. This is a good idea if you think you may have ADD/ADHD I was just looking at the records again today. Mine are sprinkled with things like "constant daydreamer", ‘working far below potential" etc. One of the comments was ‘a very likeable and helpful child, who contributes to the group but demands attention. He makes his presence known and is not one you can ignore." These are not necessarily good traits. Best wishes, – Vic
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In the process of getting my diagnosis, for ADHD, I obtained my elementary school records. This is a good idea if you think you may have ADD/ADHD I was just looking at the records again today. Mine are sprinkled with things like "constant daydreamer", ‘working far below potential" etc. One of the comments was ‘a very likeable and helpful child, who contributes to the group but demands attention. He makes his presence known and is not one you can ignore." These are not necessarily good traits.
I *know* this is unpopular … Google me and read me in the archives. You will see yourself, *somewhat* … You may not like what you see. You may like it. Whatever … … <shrug Thence {{{ shake }}} …don’t stir ( It bruises the vodka ) Finaly, Infer as you will … Cordially, RL
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Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group? Uhmmm …. The ASAD NG activity has fallen off to medium. JanD has taken over the 2nd top post position. Actually EVERYTHING, I have posted came for Google Alert: ADHD. EDUCATION CORRESPONDENT Edinburgh University’s Dr Gwynedd Lloyd Edward Hallowell, a doctor and co-author of Driven to Distraction To address the need for more public awareness on ADD / ADHD, the Helpguide.org website team has just completed a comprehensive 10-article eBook (http://www.helpguide.org/adhd) filled with practical non-drug tips and suggestions for parenting and teaching a child with ADD / ADHD and for managing your own adult ADD Perhaps there are some tips there to teach some manners?
How true … So I say the following, sincerely and respectfully. … Don’t let something, such as manners, deter you in the course that you set out for yourself in life. Regards, RL.
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Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group?
Be more aggressive with your killfile. I plonked JanD quite a while ago, for instance. — We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams. from "Ode", Arthur O’Shaughnessy
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Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group? GO TO HELL. Geeeezz.
Sometimes a good kilfile can do wonders to quiet things down….and to help the impulsivity…I admit to using it when I feel I am getting too impulsive with my own replies to trolls… — Buny " Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~ Albert Camus
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group? Uhmmm …. The ASAD NG activity has fallen off to medium. JanD has taken over the 2nd top post position. Actually EVERYTHING, I have posted came for Google Alert: ADHD. EDUCATION CORRESPONDENT Edinburgh University’s Dr Gwynedd Lloyd Edward Hallowell, a doctor and co-author of Driven to Distraction To address the need for more public awareness on ADD / ADHD, the Helpguide.org website team has just completed a comprehensive 10-article eBook (http://www.helpguide.org/adhd) filled with practical non-drug tips and suggestions for parenting and teaching a child with ADD / ADHD and for managing your own adult ADD Perhaps there are some tips there to teach some manners? How true … So I say the following, sincerely and respectfully. … Don’t let something, such as manners, deter you in the course that you set out for yourself in life.
That’s useful advice and advice you should well learn to follow.
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group? Uhmmm …. The ASAD NG activity has fallen off to medium. JanD has taken over the 2nd top post position. Actually EVERYTHING, I have posted came for Google Alert: ADHD. EDUCATION CORRESPONDENT Edinburgh University’s Dr Gwynedd Lloyd Edward Hallowell, a doctor and co-author of Driven to Distraction To address the need for more public awareness on ADD / ADHD, the Helpguide.org website team has just completed a comprehensive 10-article eBook (http://www.helpguide.org/adhd) filled with practical non-drug tips and suggestions for parenting and teaching a child with ADD / ADHD and for managing your own adult ADD Perhaps there are some tips there to teach some manners? How true … So I say the following, sincerely and respectfully. … Don’t let something, such as manners, deter you in the course that you set out for yourself in life. Regards, RL.
I haven’t, thank you. I suggest you give your advice to the one who started this thread. He/she needs the advice. Jan
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Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group? GO TO HELL. Geeeezz.
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Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group?
Uhmmm …. The ASAD NG activity has fallen off to medium. JanD has taken over the 2nd top post position. … Wow. See http://tinyurl.com/nkkbm for more information. GO TO HELL. Geeeezz.
Maybe, I should stay away longer ….
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Why do I feel like healthcare professionals have taken OVER this group? Uhmmm …. The ASAD NG activity has fallen off to medium. JanD has taken over the 2nd top post position.
Actually EVERYTHING, I have posted came for Google Alert: ADHD. EDUCATION CORRESPONDENT Edinburgh University’s Dr Gwynedd Lloyd Edward Hallowell, a doctor and co-author of Driven to Distraction To address the need for more public awareness on ADD / ADHD, the Helpguide.org website team has just completed a comprehensive 10-article eBook (http://www.helpguide.org/adhd) filled with practical non-drug tips and suggestions for parenting and teaching a child with ADD / ADHD and for managing your own adult ADD Perhaps there are some tips there to teach some manners? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – … Wow. See http://tinyurl.com/nkkbm for more information. GO TO HELL. Geeeezz. Maybe, I should stay away longer ….
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